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Oct 13

Man I have such a splitting dimensional rip right in the middle of my face.Click for full image

Tom M Comments: An enthralling depiction of what goes on inside the author’s head. You WILL be amazed by the crazy things he can think up – such as a bald man! Or a woman!
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.97 out of 10)
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Oct 12

COFFEE!! I need some, can't think of a caption today. New neighbours that have moved in with horrific faces? Ah who cares. COFFEE!!Click for full image

Alessandra Comments: I think they were going for a cutting-edge symbolic look, some sort of classical reference to alchemical historical scholarship. But they just look goofy. Oh god, that eye.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.07 out of 10)
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Oct 11

Freeze! I've chosen the best camouflage money can buy. He'll never see us!Click for full image

Jose Comments: Everything about this cover is perfect (in a very wrong way); a spangly shirt, a sentient cactus and a lizard with its ‘hands’ on its hips.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.65 out of 10)
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Oct 07

How was getting my head cut off? Meeeehh...Click for full image

Scott B Comments: A smug four-armed barbarian Telly Savales holding a bemused decapitated robot head. Works for me.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
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Oct 05

Why.... WHYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?

Marmontoast Comments: As an online repository of truly dreadful sci-fi covers grows larger, the probability of seeing a rocket with Hitler’s face approaches 1 – Godwin’s Law of ghastly art direction.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.01 out of 10)
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Sep 29

My liquorice is fabulous!Click for full image

Ruby’s Art Direction: I want a truly horrifying banshee creature… no wait – Give me the world’s gayest red rubber man, complete with rubbery genital mound and screaming nipples, then have him vomit himself into creation. Oh, and add in a small red haired child looking confused.
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.07 out of 10)
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Sep 22

Exactly the type of person my mother told me not to talk to!Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: A Green bubble wrap alien looking at a baby on a jar of jam?
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.58 out of 10)
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Sep 21

No... what have you done with ET?!?Click for larger image

Joachim Comments: It’s one of these covers where words simply fail to describe the horrors at play — the garish colors cavorting among mutated humanoid shapes (Malcolm McDowell?) and what can only be a doe-eyed, disembodied, (potentially) cuddly dragon spirit monkey…
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.76 out of 10)
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Sep 20

Lucky for me... octopuses don't know how to sword fight! hiyaaaaa! Or do they... oh crap...Click for full image

Art Direction: Man in a thong sword fighting an octopus while two half naked babes watch. My only regret is that only the French people will see this glorious work of art. Maybe someday… someone… somewhere will show this to the masses so they might all say, “Good Show Sir. Good Show!”
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Sep 15

For anyone who hasn't seen 80's Top of the Pops, this sums it up perfectly!Click for full image

Scott B’s Art Direction: Take a woman with highly improbable hair, with a snake wrapped around her shoulders. Sexy, eh? But we need to make it all technological-like, so the snake’s actually made of fiber-optic wires or something. And throw a computer keyboard behind her, to make sure people get it. Technology! Also put a giant floating head in the background — you know I require that on all my covers!
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.55 out of 10)
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