Oct 01
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Draw a few dinosaurs and some people jet-packing around the planet. That way we have both words of the title covered. Though, concentrate on the title, huge black box, every word highlighted with something awesome. You don’t know what that means? For God’s sake man, like, put the word ‘Anne’ in an orange diamond shape. That’s the type of awesome I’m talking about!
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Tagged with: Anne McCaffrey • dinosaur • font problems • Mystery of Ireta series • rocket-pack • Unknown Artist Institute • unknown publisher
Sep 30
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I’m thinking book covers are normally so unrealistic. They have things that are so unbelievable it would make your mother cry. Not us! I propose, a photographic quality drawing of a military man placing his shined boot on the head of his latest kill: a giant ant insect alien creature. It will be just like they are back in the great war…. with aliens…
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Tagged with: author in the comments • bladed weapons • Chronicles of Isambard Smith series • giant ants • giant insects • gun • mighty moustache • Myrmidon Books • possible pastiche • sword • Toby Frost
Sep 29
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So I climbed over the mountain peak and made my way through the snow storm. I was close to death and feared I may never see another living soul again. Then I stumbled on the temple, and the great master. There he leaned forward from his mediation. Placing a single flower petal in my hand he whispered, ‘shoulder pads’. It changed my life.
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Tagged with: Baen Books • damsel • dude • gun • Jon & Lobo series • Mark L. Van Name • once you see it • paging John Galliano • shoulder pads • space ships • Stephen Hickman
Sep 28
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In my life time, I’ve seen dragons vs lasers, dragons vs swords, even dragons vs man-tigers. Where haven’t we gone you ask? Well my dear friend, let me but whisper these words into your ear and pray they don’t start to bleed with pleasure. Dragons vs Concordes! That’s right, with shoulder pads and eighties hair cuts!
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Tagged with: Baen Books • damsel • dragon • dude • goblet • Haircut 100 • Jon & Lobo series • Mark L. Van Name • shoulder pads • Stephen Hickman • throne
Sep 25
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Excuse me, Sir, there is a phone call for you.
Art Director: Is it ready?
Mysterious caller: It’s more glorious than you could ever imagine.
Art Director: You remembered the…
Mysterious caller: Vampire, Minotaur, Robot, Damsel, Roman man in toga with sword, Angel and death star?
Art Director: Don’t forget Saberhagen.. he must be in there to! Mu hahahahahahaaha!
Mysterious caller: MU hahahahahahahaahhahaaha
Art Director: No… only I may laugh! Mu hahahaahahahah!
Mysterious caller: ………………………
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Tagged with: anthropomorphism • author on the cover • Baen Books • BEHIND YOU! • Berserkers series • bladed weapons • Boris Brazil series • damsel • Dracula series • explosion • Fred Saberhagen • Good Show Sir • knights • Lost Sword series • minotaur • omnibus • robots • sword • the pencil is mightier than the sword • toga • vampire • wings
Sep 24
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A kids’ book? Well you know what kids love: FONTS, terrible fonts – gold outline! Give me: people animals… that’s right, I want a man weasel, man mouse, man rabbit and man mole all on there. Uh, best not make it too cutesy though, give the weasel a bow and arrow.
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Tagged with: anthropomorphism • archery weapons • bladed weapons • Brian Jacques • Chris "Fangorn" Baker • font problems • longbow • mouse people • rabbit people • Red Fox Books • Redwall series • rodents • shiny • ships • stoat people • strange creature • sword
Sep 23
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The year was 1967… it was the summer of love and we sat the whole team around a field and…… I almost remembered something there…. but it’s gone. When we all awoke three days later we had this.
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Tagged with: Corgi Books • Hal Clement • Unknown Artist Institute • WTF
Sep 22
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I’m not one to stray from tradition. I’m talking about a dragon in the background, as black as…. uh… AC/DC? Peering at our antagonist will be a huge white wolf and her damsel companion holding the tiniest of flames. Remember, I am also talking traditional proportions here, so make sure nothing is sized relative to anything else. Now who’s up for some Hells’ Bells?
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Tagged with: anatomical issues • bladed weapons • daggers • damsel • dragon • fire • Firekeeper Saga series • Jane Lindskold • Julie Bell • Tor Books • wolf
Sep 21
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*Hick* awwwww yeaaaahhh that’s some good boooze…. Cover? Ok. How about, dude…leaning over women, not checking out her chest…. this time… A-hahahaha! And some ghost! Yeaaaaa a ghost tossing top trump cards at them! Hahaha that would be so annoying it would be like… ow ow ow… wooo blah! weeeeeeeeeeeeeee *hick*
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Tagged with: Bantam Books • damsel • Dave Seeley • dude • explosion • ghosts • Linnea Sinclair • space ships • spectacular space chart
Sep 18
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Think of your target audience, 15 year old boys and 39 year old single males still living with their parents. So that would be, a women with an unimaginable rack walks in space across….liquid alien gooey stuff….and then just throw in a red computer grid and some flying male/female symbols. Sorted! We’ve pretty much got a winner!
Thanks to Mairi! 🙂
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Tagged with: Alex Stewart • cleavage • damsel • double trouble • ewww • frickin laser beams • gun • New English Library • omnibus • planets • spectacular space chart
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