Good Show Sir

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Jaouad Comments: I have no mouth, but I have a double chin & a sousaphone ear with tiny people creeping out of it & a plum floating above my eye & something which looks vaguely like a grape in my other eye & two tiny legs and and… I MUST SCREAM!
Published 1974

(Average: 8.26 out of 10)

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Max Comments: I read the paperback version of this back in the day and it had a nice cover which represented the content of the book quite well. This original hardback, on the other hand, has none of those things. It’s a barbarian and perhaps an elf-woman on thrones, in hell, staring into a satanic-goat-festooned portal to THE COSMOS. The back’s got some crystal pyramids on it.
Published 1988

(Average: 6.22 out of 10)

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GK Comments: As we all know, cats love eggs and shellfish.
Published 1989

(Average: 6.48 out of 10)

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Elijah Comments: Nothing says, “stirring look at spirituality and the uncertainty of agnosticism” like a badly-drawn cowboy running from a volcano.
Published 1998

(Average: 6.41 out of 10)

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MisterBob’s Art Direction: Are there any flowers on Jupiter? Bet they look alien, paint one with the planet behind.
Published 1979

(Average: 7.24 out of 10)

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Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Scotty, we need more clip-art!”

“She can’t take much more captain! We push her any harder and we risk a font overload!”

“Dammit, just do it man!”
Published 1999

(Average: 8.58 out of 10)

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Colette’s Art Direction: I want an attractive couple on another planet who wear ribbons instead of actual clothing. But I guess we need something that will make it seem horrible AND sexy, so can you add a long trail of golden ectoplasm to the woman’s lower body? It should imply “you have radiant womb” and not “you should immediately see a doctor about that.”
Published 1973

(Average: 7.11 out of 10)

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Jeremy’s Art Direction: We need the most evil guy ever. Ever! And the goofiest looking assassin you can muster!
Published 1982

(Average: 6.95 out of 10)

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Durbin Comments: This is actually a pretty decent book. It’s the story of a golden sorceress dragon and a male cellist who battle an evil dragon in the Sierra Nevada mountains. There are no skateboards, blonde girls, rainbow dragons, Valley girl fashions, or palm trees. There is, however, a passing mention of cats.
Published 1990

(Average: 8.34 out of 10)

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Joachim Comments: “Devil dude,” said the blonde-headed potbellied forest spirit,”I’m not into your steroid enhanced red muscles with sheathing belly skin around the bottom look.”
Published 1995

(Average: 7.91 out of 10)

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