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You know what the 1970’s scream? Car movies and Shaft. Everyone against the MAN! So kinda like those films but with a wind powered car, some small alien dude, an alien sting ray, spears, horrific landscape and some hot alien amazon chick pushing out her chest. Dig it!

Thanks so much to – guess who? – of course, the legend ChrisR!

(Average: 6.90 out of 10)

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Art shouldn’t be confined to one side of a book, so span it across front AND back! And I am talking full-on epic here. Guy carried by a lizard horse dragon thing, shoots his laser at… wait for it….. dwarfs with spears riding on the backs of kangaroos! It will be a Sci-Fi craze! I’m sure it will just be as popular as man-tigers… Ahahahaha……………..

Thanks again to Chris R! You’re a legend!

(Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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You know what I would like to see? A huge cricket with a hat! Giving a hat salute as he greets us with a, ‘top of the morning tu yaaa!’ And why stop there, EH!? Why not have him inviting people into his huge sea shell homes……?

Why yes, I am back on medication. Why do you ask?

Thanks so much to Chris R!

(Average: 7.78 out of 10)

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Word association game: say the first two words that come into your head when I say “Sci Fi”. Laser guns? WRONG! It’s cat people! Eat your words! Though, lasers… not bad actually. Add them in with some weird cloaked alien holding a gun. Might help distract from the fact we have friggin’ cat people on there.

(Average: 5.26 out of 10)

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Huge naked man flying through a vast landscape while an English businessman on a flying circle points out his mistakes with a cane. Have his manhood really impressive and big, you know like the type that make women faint… oh yeah, guess we can’t. Well, draw it anyway and cover it up with a star about that award he got. They’ll never know…

Thanks so much to Chris R!

(Average: 8.95 out of 10)

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OK, spinning my cover creator wheel again! We have… dragons, plural – nice! The dragons are (throwing my action dice)… shitting out fire, awesome! Hmm, they are also… (roll)… carrying… (spin)… a woman in a Persian rug, touch! And in the background this time we will have a….. pyramid… awww just like the books name!

(Average: 8.22 out of 10)

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So with a title like this, one has to be careful. I was thinking of a sweeping landscape and a storm brewing on the horizon. Silhouetted over the coming clouds and setting sun would be some hands in chains and…… Sorry? You just want busty sword welding chicks and a chained male. Ha! Who would approve that?

(Slightly breaks our rules as this is probably comedy – but it is another bank holiday weekend for UK readers! Have fun!)

(Average: 6.21 out of 10)

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You know what always bugged the hell out of me about the whole north verses south thing? No dragons or magic crystal orbs. The north frees the south of: dragons! Right there on the cover, with King Lincoln watching the battle on his orb! It almost makes me proud to be Americaglish… or whatever.

(Average: 8.21 out of 10)

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Hey! You there beside the water cooler. What books you into these days? Narina? Narninia? Fine, let’s say a lion. And you with the coffee, what do you like? Chicks with swords. Awesome, slap them both on there. Best lens flare the hell out of the background though. I think we need something to grab people’s attention!

(Average: 6.58 out of 10)

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You know what people are into these days… dressing up like strange animal creatures. So put a couple of people talking to some weird bunny person.. just like the convention we were at last week! Except less of the, you know, horrible single 45 year old men looking for sex. Take away from that with a huge space ship in the sky with the author’s name printed in horrible fonts.

(Average: 8.14 out of 10)

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