Good Show Sir

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There’s only one thing in this world that can make a muscle infused man in a loincloth and his scantily clad female faint almost instantly. A naked red headed minotaur who is sneezing at them. Just remember, the sure fire way to success, keep the clothes to a minimum!

(Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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Scott B Comments: So we have a glowing underwater shark-riding, um, zombie Roman legionnaire? At least I assume he’s been zombified, or something. That’s a real death-stare he’s got going on there. Maybe he forgot he can’t actually breathe underwater?
Published 1980

(Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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OH OH OH! Let’s have a half naked man grasping his magic electrified sword around waist height. That sounds suggestive? Of course it is, he’s holding a sword right next to his baby maker. A ha ha ha. Don’t forget to overload the whole cover with text, a lot of text, in all shapes and sizes.

(Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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Scot’s Art Direction: For this one we’re going dystopian agony. So, nuclear explosion! And a prison wall with people falling from it to their deaths, but get this, the wall is also a screaming face! With an eyeball being stabbed by a needle! That’s the stuff.
Published 1979

(Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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L’Angelo Mysterioso Comments: Sung to the tune of Nights in White Satin:

Nights with the Sasquatch
Never reading the end
Novels are written
About Big Foot’s girlfriend

Good Show Sir covers
Make my eyes so sore
Just what bad art is
I can’t say any more

Please don’t judge me
Yes don’t judge me
Oh don’t judge me
Noooooooo!

Published 1977

(Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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Joachim Comments: Gremlin in a space suit descends from amorphous pink vessel…
Published 1993

(Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a naked man, and he’s playing with these two blue balls. No, no, I’m saying he’s handling two massive globes. Don’t make ’em the same size, one is bigger than the other. Have him straining, concentrating intensely. Look, I don’t see what’s so funny about this.
Published 1968

(Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir Comments: The Moorcock Family Coat of Arms.
Published 1973

You might remember this from here.

(Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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Lee Moyer, artist, designer and illustrator, has created a gallery of sci-fi cover recreations on his website.

We first heard about this pastime from our lovely and talented GSS ex-noob in a comment back on “The Light of Lilith”:

My people of GSS:

At a convention this past weekend, I went to a slideshow of bad SF/F covers. Most of them have been seen here. Then we re-enacted a few.

I am pleased to report that upon being shown our old pal ISTBE fractal centaur, the Artist Guest of Honor literally shrieked and recoiled, taking a step away from the picture. Quite literally taken aback and repelled.

In the reenactment, I played one of the bored background lizard women in
http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=12947 (with my regular clothes on!) whilst the octopus was two people covered in jackets and hoodies.

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=12956 could not be re-enacted as the hero could not actually support the damsel in that position with one arm, being a mere mortal.

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Since this teaser we have been able to access these lovely/terrible cover recreations as well as many others over on Lee Moyer’s site. I’ll let GSS ex-noob tell the tale:

1. We started off small — here’s me as the dead body (I’m not actually bald…)

Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

2. Then myself and my athletic pal posed for the bored background women, while rather a lot of people were the octopus.

Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Filling out the gallery are a number of well-done recreations of many of our favourite covers. Maybe if we all ask really nice Mr. Moyer can reenact I Sing the Body Electric someday!

Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Click to visit Lee Moyer’s Gallery

Enjoy! And thanks again to Lee Moyer and Ex-Noobie!

(Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Okay, this is a Celtic fantasy, so obviously we want a buff surfer dude who is spaced out of his gourd. What? I dunno, put him in a kilt or something. You figure it out, that’s what you’re paid for isn’t it? Anyhow, magic it up. Slap a shiny silver border on with the author’s name in a clashing red font to distract suspicious readers. Anyhoo, I gotta jet, it’s 4:20.
Published 1993

Many thanks to Tom!

(Average: 8.45 out of 10)

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