Good Show Sir

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An alien planet, with vegetation and all that, and another huge other planet in the background. And throw in a huge space ship taking off with a person throwing her fist in the air, making the reader ponder, “is she covering her eyes or simply shouting complaints?”

(Average: 5.11 out of 10)

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Jonathan Art Direction: The Styx? OK, we need a boat. Give the boat eyes. No, give it two sets of eyes. And some empty eye sockets. And bat wings and a frog. And a hand coming out of a skull holding a rubber spider. Oh, don’t forget the boatman needs to have the author’s face.

Published 1984

(Average: 5.11 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir Comments: This is called the snatch and the jerk. In weightlifting terms.

Published 1980

(Average: 5.11 out of 10)

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Ryan Comments: Not the illustration I imagined when I first heard the title.

Published 1989

(Average: 5.11 out of 10)

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Art Direction: How long are legs supposed to be? I’d say keep them on the long side of things. Don’t be afraid to get boob in their too. Just one boob though, two I believe would be considered excessive next to a half naked hunky man with only a bit of leather and cloth to cover his modesty.
Published 1982

(Average: 5.10 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: See this grin? Exactly this grin!
Published 2011

(Average: 5.10 out of 10)

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Alice Comments: This worthless flashlight only illuminates ME!

Published 1966

You might remember this from here.

(Average: 5.10 out of 10)

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Raoul Comments: This cover is a hot mess. I see one face, one foot, one arm, and one hand. And I’m not sure how they are connected.

Published 1977

(Average: 5.10 out of 10)

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Thanks to Nix who says:

_Patterns of Chaos_ is a slightly famous book with a lot of amazing setpiece scenes which could have been used for the cover, starting with the destruction of entire planets, meticulously described, and ending with a transgalactic trip to a memorably unpleasant destination. If any book counts as overblown space opera, this one does.

So what did they use for the cover? A scowling cowled bloke, a weird plant, a badly-designed castle and a random number generator.

(Average: 5.09 out of 10)

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Jaouad’s Art Direction: Vampires? Look, I don’t care what it’s about, just give me a lingerie model, I want boobs. Oh, and a sword.
Published 2007

(Average: 5.09 out of 10)

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