Good Show Sir

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So, for the cover I was thinking “fear”. What are the two things you are most afraid of attacking this building right now? A small space ship firing a pretty standard laser, that’s scary, right? But what, get this, if it came with a friend? A giant legionary‘s sword! If that cut into your building you’d defecate yourself right there and then!

(Average: 8.45 out of 10)

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OK! Get ready ’cause here comes the cover train and we’re about to jump right on it! One, a hunky topless man holding his huge gun. Two, a post-apocalyptic scene in the background. Three, the author’s name in terrible fonts and way larger than the actual book title. Four, did I mention muscles…mmm, MMM! Wooo woo all aboard!!!!

(Average: 8.25 out of 10)

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Heard of the glow effect in photoshop? Good, ’cause I want it! Place it around a guy who looks like he has just come out of his chemistry class… but instead of being in school, have him standing on a planet in space with a HUGE glowing moon in the background!

(Average: 8.16 out of 10)

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Art direction: Right, I want this cover to scream EVILLLLL! Have a cloaked dark figure drawing a pentagram with a big nerd fantasy dagger. Have you ever been LARP’ING? Just like that!

Thanks to CSA!

(Average: 4.73 out of 10)

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Bellatrix Comments: Cats! The Fantasy RPG Game Musical.

Published 1984

(Average: 3.40 out of 10)

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Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Great, John, you’re here, come see the cover we’ve whipped up for Soldiers vs. Dinosaur Space Centaurs!”
“Uh, my book is just called ‘Soldiers’.”
“Ermmmmm… have you considered adding some dinosaur space centaurs to it?
Published 2001

(Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir Comments: Mr SQUID! I said smile… smile with your eye! Jezzz… we’ll never get this cover shoot for Vogue done.
Published 1980

Many thanks to Erin!

(Average: 6.30 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: A tasteful way to cover up male nudity? I know what you mean… how about we cover up his nudity with a naked women on her knees, in front of his “blade!” What? How is that even remotely sexist!? Oh…. well… do it anyway.
Published 1969

Many thanks to Travis G!
See also: Looters of Tharn

Update: The Cover My Ass crew has a podcast reviewing “Jewel of Tharn”. Check it out:

In Ep 37 of Cover My Ass, “Jeffrey Lord’s Best Book Ever”:https://t.co/O67V3NKe4J

The Church has banned books, beauty, and bare buns!

Dick Blade and his magic singing spear must save their nudist colony from the encroaching Crusaders who wish to crush their peaceful ways. pic.twitter.com/IMJH3vS4BE

— Cover My Ass · Podcast (@covermyasscast) September 12, 2019

(Average: 8.36 out of 10)

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Lauren F Comments: Two covers for the price of one! But you’ll spend all your time trying to figure out the front cover so they may as well have left the back cover blank.
Published 1978

(Average: 5.80 out of 10)

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Matt Comments: Thought this might give you paws for thought (sorry…)! An interesting variation on the usual cat people.
Published 2008

(Average: 8.52 out of 10)

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