Good Show Sir

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Art Direction: You want to know what we need art minion!?! Let me tell you. The bigest TINGGGGGGGG anyone has ever seen! Make sure even the man holding his mighty sword is blinded by its awesomeness. Oh and… make sure he’s pretty much naked. Why? Well… why not? Eh?
Published 1982

(Average: 8.36 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Man in a thong sword fighting an octopus while two half naked babes watch. My only regret is that only the French people will see this glorious work of art. Maybe someday… someone… somewhere will show this to the masses so they might all say, “Good Show Sir. Good Show!”
Published 1985

(Average: 8.58 out of 10)

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Ian’s Art Direction: Did you see the cover that came back from the artist? It’s full of crotches! Crotches! I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay that idiot to fix it. See if you can get an intern in here to cover them up with oblong stickers or smudges or something. Make it look natural.
Published 1973

(Average: 5.48 out of 10)

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Phil’s Art Direction: Are you SURE Bradbury is sufficiently recognisable enough to appear on his own book covers? Well, jazz it up a bit; he looks a bit plain.
Published 2009

(Average: 8.03 out of 10)

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Farquarson Comments:I don’t know what bothers me more–the artwork or the title. I hate shots from inside someone’s mouth; it reminds me of the, “Dentist” scene from Little Shop of Horrors. On the other hand, calling your book “Sucks & Blows” is an absolute GIFT to any critic worthy of the name.
Published 2011

Extra points go to the photo of a computer screen! Thanks Farquarson!

(Average: 8.09 out of 10)

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Well today is a bank holiday and I completely forgot about it. Almost got up to go to work! Almost…

So for all your enjoyment here is a few covers that I believe make the Honourable Mentions standard! Have a good holiday for those who remembered!

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DarkZlorf Comments: I’m sure I left my tank parked around here?
Published 1979

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Completely stolen from the wonderful Awful Library Books, but because the top left is clearly a copy of Keith Parkinson’s Dragons of War, I thought it too good not to mention! Thanks to John for letting me know about it!

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So I found this is in a touristy shop in the wonderful San Diego… paper dolls… what’s with that? Anyway, I had hours of fun recreating all my covers that day!
Published 2010

(Average: 7.65 out of 10)

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Art Direction: We’ll have some guy looking like he’s in a furtistic space disco being attacked by a giant man with a glowing forehead. Why, you ask? Well, we all know psychic powers are clearly symbolised by a lens flare. Just like every sword is reflecting a magical light from somewhere making it go… TING!
Published 1983

(Average: 7.74 out of 10)

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AdamK Comments: The notes on the back cover provide a stark warning that THIS vision of man’s mental bondage could have already begun!
Published 1978

(Average: 8.49 out of 10)

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Vincent’s Art Direction: So, put an enormous crab on the cover. And, what the hey, give him a knife. No, make it a dagger. Right, then have the sacrificial victim be a young woman lying beneath the knife….perfect, that’s it!
Published 1989

(Average: 8.62 out of 10)

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Scott Comments: Listen, dude, I hate to interrupt your sword-wielding meditation, but your hairy little man is showing. Your “klesh,” your “ler,” whatever you call it…
Published 1979

(Average: 7.03 out of 10)

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