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Mar 15

OHHH GAWWWWD I'm on a terrible sci-fi cover!Click for full image

Look, I’m all for drawing yourself on the cover – but it comes at a price. A translucent alien head staring at the reader, some lightning on the hills and (my forte) flying avocados! And I really mean avocados with pink wings. With that all there, you can just draw how you feel.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.51 out of 10)
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Feb 17

HOOOOLLLLLLY CRAAAAAAAP... Who dressed you in purple?Click for full image

I don’t know where I’ve been for the past few days, but I found this written on the back of my hand: Blue black skin, golden eyes, brain tubes, explosions, horrified expression, spaced out look, glass dome head.

Oh wait, it’s just all the classic symptoms of reading a collection of Sci-Fi stories.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.75 out of 10)
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Feb 05

Stop complaining! I only have a shovel to defend myself...Click for full image

You know what a book cover can never have enough of? That’s right chum, text. Lets fire as much on there as possible. And possibly some worm creature being attacked by guys with guns. But that’s secondary, no in fact it’s tertiary, to the fonts with their various marvelous colours and shapes.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Oct 27

Nice sword, John.. bet you wish you'd brought your gun now, eh?Click for full image

Let’s have a man in a male skirt, or, say, a leather armour of sorts, stretching into the sky. We’ll have his companion lancing out with his hand just towards his crotch… Wait! This is Sci Fi? Lucky you told me. Uh, have them fighting aliens but keep the rest the same.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.04 out of 10)
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Sep 17

HAAHAHAH FOOLS! Laser beats spears! Owned!Click for full image

Art shouldn’t be confined to one side of a book, so span it across front AND back! And I am talking full-on epic here. Guy carried by a lizard horse dragon thing, shoots his laser at… wait for it….. dwarfs with spears riding on the backs of kangaroos! It will be a Sci-Fi craze! I’m sure it will just be as popular as man-tigers… Ahahahaha……………..

Thanks again to Chris R! You’re a legend!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Sep 16

You can't call the book wank! Put an H after it.Click for full image

You know what I would like to see? A huge cricket with a hat! Giving a hat salute as he greets us with a, ‘top of the morning tu yaaa!’ And why stop there, EH!? Why not have him inviting people into his huge sea shell homes……?

Why yes, I am back on medication. Why do you ask?

Thanks so much to Chris R!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.78 out of 10)
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Sep 11

So, one of my good friends is getting married tomorrow and he has even got me to wear a kilt. As some sort of strange wedding present I decided to include these covers I discovered in the depths of a charity shop. They break our rules due to being a franchise but hey, they are still fantastic.

Graeme, I hope you have a fantastic day, and I hope everyone else enjoys these Doctor Who covers. It’s not my favourite doctor *coughs* John Pertwee *coughs* but they are just brilliant!

Aww come on, we're just trying to get to Soho!Click for full image

GAHHHH! Wow.. how do you get your teeth so white?Click for full image

Seriously.. I have no idea what to put for this one.Click for full image

We may be monkeys but we can go up stairs! Get on the evolutionary chain losers!Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.25 out of 10)
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Sep 10

Dam it they protected the catnip with lasers.Click for full image

Word association game: say the first two words that come into your head when I say “Sci Fi”. Laser guns? WRONG! It’s cat people! Eat your words! Though, lasers… not bad actually. Add them in with some weird cloaked alien holding a gun. Might help distract from the fact we have friggin’ cat people on there.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.34 out of 10)
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Sep 09

Seriously... wtf?Click for full image

I have no idea about the cover, we’ve had our best team on it for some time. Hold on.. what are you eating there? Meatballs? Man, what about putting some meatballs creatures emerging from some sort of alien pasta, with legs and horns!! That’s awesome! And here *squelch* we could also have spaghetti with coloured lights. Sorry, some got in your eye there…

Thanks so much to Chris R!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.48 out of 10)
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Aug 27

I should probably be helping those people but I'm just so damn good looking in this catsuit.Click for full image

Right, we’re in a recession, we need a cover that sells! Hmm, all black cover? You, sir, are fired! We need exploding cities in the midst of being attacked. A woman in a yellow and black striped catsuit, no wait… an alien woman! She can be holding a dagger while she peers into the foreground, completely ignoring the chaos behind her. If that doesn’t sell I’ll jump right out that window.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.23 out of 10)
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