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Sep 22

Yes.. I definitely prefer the stomach hatch to the ass one!Click for full image

GK’s Art Direction: Alright, Lem asked us for a giant robot of some sort. Preferably with the ruins of a burning city in the background, perhaps people running in terror, a few puppies being crushed, you know, that sort of thing. Can you do it?
Published 1977

Artist has been listed as two people. I’m unsure which is correct.
Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.55 out of 10)
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Sep 21

Sweet Gwad! What's that raccoon doing to that rabbit!?Click for full image

George Comments: I feel as if there were drinking involved in the making of this design cover. Or drugs. Or rabies. I think this is what happens when clip art and Photoshop get used in the most horrible ways possible. EVERYTHING is horrifying in this cover. Does anything really need to be said? Just looking at this cover says it all.
Published 2009

Many thanks to George!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.59 out of 10)
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Sep 15

She doesn't have to be naked. I just thought it would be funny to tell her she had to be.Click for full image

Ashton Comments: Usually when there’s a naked woman on the front of a book it’s to titillate the viewer, but this brave artist went against convention and made the most unappealing cover he could think of.
Published 1989

Many thanks to Ashton!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.16 out of 10)
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Sep 13

Look, I'm not talking till you put some dam trousers on!Click for full image

Stevie Comments: Samuel Delaney’s Neveryona is so-over-the-top hetero soft porn. And the lead character is supposedly gay! What a bubble butt he’s got! I wish I had one of those! And what’s he doing with that giant sword, anyway?
Published 1983

Amazing! Many thanks to Stevie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.90 out of 10)
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Sep 06

Unknown to most scholars, the first Olympics used french horns instead of batons.Click for full image

Natalie and Steve Comments: Unfortunately, Davy himself is not as vivacious as his cover suggests.
Published 1976

Many thanks to Natalie and Steve!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.37 out of 10)
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Aug 20

Impaled by a F, what a way to go.Click for full image

Art Direction: We’ll draw a couple of male models on the cover with laser guns, cold room jackets and a light halo around their slicked back hair. Just like it will be in the future! Realism my boy, we need to spell this out for the readers. Well, except for the F, we’ll partially cover that later in editing!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.97 out of 10)
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Aug 05

Hamster? Gerbil? F*ck.. I don't know what he is either Officer Spider Creature.Click for full image

Nathan Comments: Timothy Zahn has a winner with the giant spider bouncy ball, peasant Tasha Yar, and a gopher mercenary? Oh and eye straining font!
Published 2006

Could this be a first? Man-gerbil?
Many thanks to Nathan!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.00 out of 10)
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Aug 04

Good god, there's a small planet above that building!Click for full image

Deborah Comments: Actually I think this is quite good, apart from the woman being none of the central characters – Heris is black, Lady Cecilia’s a redhead, Bubbles is blonde. But the COLORS are a little unsubtle!
Published 1995

Click here for the previous Winning Colours cover.
Many thanks to Deborah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.40 out of 10)
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Aug 02

Click for full image

Jessie Comments: I really don’t know what to say about this, but I recommend noticing not only the shag carpet flames but also the subtle nuances of how the model’s head is too small for her body, which is wearing a very modern pair of socks.
Published 1985

Many thanks to Jessie!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.61 out of 10)
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Jul 29

The real lynx effect....Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Okay, this is a Celtic fantasy, so obviously we want a buff surfer dude who is spaced out of his gourd. What? I dunno, put him in a kilt or something. You figure it out, that’s what you’re paid for isn’t it? Anyhow, magic it up. Slap a shiny silver border on with the author’s name in a clashing red font to distract suspicious readers. Anyhoo, I gotta jet, it’s 4:20.
Published 1993

Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.45 out of 10)
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