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May 28

The glowing Magic 8-Ball says 'Reply hazy, try again.'Click for larger image

Ryan Comments: I am torn between the best feature on this cover – the little cat-man or the wizard’s shoes.

Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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May 20

BEEKEEPERS BEN DOVAClick for larger image

Stevie T Art Direction: Let’s make the astronaut so dark you can barely see him! And then let’s put the title in an awkward place where it’s hard to read, and make it purple on top of black! Yeah! That’ll convey “space!” To everyone!

Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.25 out of 10)
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Mar 30

One of these apes is not like the other onesClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: The crew from ‘Extreme Home Makeovers: Jungle Edition’ has arrived.

Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Nov 20

'Servant girl, ready the penis pump!'Click for larger image

Bellatrix Comments: “Do you have to interrupt us now? Do your hoovering later.”

You might remember this from here

Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Nov 07

And a 40% chance she'll like her surprise dream dateClick for larger image

Nigel R. Comments: 3-to-1 odds against you guessing which is the title.

Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.71 out of 10)
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Jun 05

Young tourists can't get excited about those Venice gondola ridesClick for larger image

Jonathan Art Direction: The Styx? OK, we need a boat. Give the boat eyes. No, give it two sets of eyes. And some empty eye sockets. And bat wings and a frog. And a hand coming out of a skull holding a rubber spider. Oh, don’t forget the boatman needs to have the author’s face.

Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.40 out of 10)
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Feb 21

Who gives a hoot about these mouseover jokesClick for larger image

Dexter Comments: Let’s do it owlknight long, baby!

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.45 out of 10)
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Jul 12

From the gates of hell I keep tabs on thee!Click for larger image

Rick Deckard Comments: Oh shit, it’s the wife!

Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.78 out of 10)
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May 02

O Shiny Embossed Font Problems!Click for larger image

Tom Noir Comments: Oh god, not another race that communicates entirely through interpretive dance!
Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.64 out of 10)
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Apr 26

Ow! Stop yanking on my eye, lady!Click for larger image

Tor Mented Comments: It never fails! There’s always a snail driver ahead of me in the fast lane.
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.12 out of 10)
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