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Jun 16

Forrest Gump: The Later YearsClick for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Leopard says: “Go ahead and finish your sandwich. I’ll have my lunch after you’re done.”

Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)
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May 26

Asinine InfirmityClick for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: Your assignment: be harangued by the author for all eternity with his opinions on government, religion and the individual.

Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.74 out of 10)
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Jan 21

You're my bitch now!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: The Sisterhood of the Matching Pants
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.25 out of 10)
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Oct 23

Starring Vin Diesel as Bobo, the microcephalic, mutant dwarf. Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: The hottie on the right is the mutant Mother of Blades. From the book:
“She faced him, her four calloused hands set firmly on her broad hips. Her eyes were reddened from staring into the furnace in which she heated her metal; sweat ran down her wrinkled face into the sparse gray mustache which disfigured her upper lip, and dripped onto her bare chest…” Spot on, cover artist Patrick Turner.

Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.56 out of 10)
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Mar 25

Oppps...Well... that was definitely the wrong button to press!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: There’s a lot going on on this cover, so let me break it down for you: BLAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)
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Dec 13

Excuse me sir, could you stop reading your book in public. The shine is blinding people.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Presumably the tagline refers to the title font and not to Mr. Pancake Ears here.
Published 2002

And that’s the end of, “Tom Noir Week!”
Thanks to Tom for all the covers, there’s still about a month more waiting!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.86 out of 10)
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Jul 22

Yes, yes I agree now... you are better with the mohawk... and I am better with a mullet!Click for full image

Christian Comments: This is truly the fantasy of every elementary school boy. Knight in shining armour with laser gun and sword while riding a dinosaur with a mohawk and ankle spikes. Epic.
Published 2002

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.07 out of 10)
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Dec 04

Well... here comes 100 years of horrific radiation poisoning.Click for full image

World gets destroyed by large alien disco balls firing lasers. Lasers that create nuclear explosions. Then we’ll have some women in a tight shirt, unbuttoned just enough to tease our readers. And like every other cover out there, she’ll be completely ignoring the fact that there is a mammoth nuclear explosion going off in the background. Women, eh?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.19 out of 10)
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Oct 23

Internet dating succcccckkkksss!!Click for full image

Click for new, improved, hi-def image

There are few times in life when I boast of attaining perfection. The fonts, the scary woman who looks a little too desperate for a man, the man frozen as he runs away, the mist, the obligatory quote and lets not forget the glow. I can see it now. We are giving them something so beautiful that people will shed tears of joy.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.74 out of 10)
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Oct 20

This maybe the wrong time, and I may be a goblin. But would you go out with me?Click for full image

What we shouldn’t have is something like ships exploding covering most of the front cover as some four armed goblins fire a cannon. And some blonde women holding her gun as she surveys the scene. Then the title and authors in huge fonts! THEN quotes from reviews just in case we think it’s not busy enough! That’s what we shouldn’t have guys. Right, guys? …Right?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.74 out of 10)
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