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Jul 23

The Bug Wars

14 Comments »

GET OFF ME BUILDING HEXAGONS YOU DAMN DIRTY SPACE SHIPS!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Headline – Planet Sized Monster Brings Sword Just In Case!
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.53 out of 10)
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Jul 22

The “Lomokome” Papers

13 Comments »

Meanwhile... at the daemon hair stylists...Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments:
‘It’s called the Loko Meme papers.’
‘The wot?’
‘The Koko Leme papers. I don’t know. I hate these titles. I hate Orko from He-Man. He terrifies my wife, and then she won’t cook anything but broccoli and listen to her jazz LPs on the stereo.’
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.32 out of 10)
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Jul 21

The Space Merchants

22 Comments »

I'll take it! It comes... with the mannequin... right?Click for full image

Chris Comments: Thought this might be of interest…
Published 1984

You might remember this from here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.03 out of 10)
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Jul 04

Soldiers

29 Comments »

Dinocentaurs have no need for space suits!Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction:
“Great, John, you’re here, come see the cover we’ve whipped up for Soldiers vs. Dinosaur Space Centaurs!”
“Uh, my book is just called ‘Soldiers’.”
“Ermmmmm… have you considered adding some dinosaur space centaurs to it?
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)
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Jul 03

No Time Like the Future

18 Comments »

Stop placing the title and get over here!!Click for full image

Frank Comments: This disco looks kind of empty.
Published 1954

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.52 out of 10)
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Jul 02

Amish Vampires in Space

23 Comments »

Don't want to crop this picture... love the potted plant!Click for full image

Alexandria and kinda John Comment: My friend and I love your site. So many fun times.
Published 2013

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Jul 01

The Schimmelhorn File – Memoirs of a Dirty Old Genius

20 Comments »

Phoooarrrr.... I luv me a good horse I do... Click for full image

David G Comments: A nice montage of fun & ridiculous stuff on this cover!
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.76 out of 10)
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Jun 06

Strange Relations

43 Comments »

..... < o_0 > .....Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Joachim Comments: Old man breasts, stump hands, back slug, purple eggs, fanged man baby chillin’ out in one of the purple eggs while a snake bites…
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)
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Jun 05

The Amber Wizard

21 Comments »

Death by lens flare!Click for full image

DPN Comments: There is someting about this cover that just isn’t working.
Published 2006

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.96 out of 10)
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Jun 04

The Hero

19 Comments »

They can't kill me! I'm the main character!Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth Comments: I was visiting my brother in Chicago. I showed him the site. Then we tried to complete the sentence on the cover of this book. Here are our efforts –

THE HERO…has his face stuck in a trash compactor!
…is wearing green gelatin!
…holds snowmen holding rifles in contempt!
…gets to have a double iris!
…has such kissable lips!
…was almost THE HEROT!
…looks like the dude from Aphex Twin!
…knows Christmas colors are the new teal and orange!
Published 2005

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.81 out of 10)
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