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Apr 01

Good Show Sir... Good Show!Click for full image

That’s right! It is finally here – Good Show Sir: The Book! It’s taken me a while to write because of the many pre-conjunctions but it’s coming out this month! My family and friends told me my real name isn’t strong enough so I have chosen a pen name to write under.

Title: Good Show Sir
Author: Dr. J. R. Asimov
Publisher: Self Published
Publish Date:
1st April 2013
Synopsis: Gilbert W. Izard is a mild-mannered book editor in search of that one special cover with everything on it. One day he happens upon a strange antique tome that leads him into a hidden world and on an adventure that neither he… NOR YOU… will ever forget.

And I even have a special treat for you! An excerpt from the book itself.

“Nooooo!” screamed Space Sheep the anthropomorphic cyborg sheepmage, as he dove in front of Evil Floating C.S.Lewis’ head’s laser beam.

Space Sheep lay on the ground motionless for he had taken the bullet laser for Tiffany deLarge Cleavage. She bounced over to him wearing her female adventurers outfit, just enough to cover her devil’s dumplings and glared at Evil C.S.Lewis’s floating head. “You monster,” she muttered sorrowfully.

“That’s right,” proclaimed the Floating Evil Head of C.S. Lewis, “there is no-one left to stop me!”

Suddenly there was a voice.

“Think again Lewis!” said Gilbert W. Izard, a man of granite with muscles loved throughout every nation. He was: the greatest fighter in all the realm; a lover of women (apart from that one time in university); a dragon tamer; a skilled knife fighter; Pac-Man 2008 Blackpool International champion; a practicing magician; part time charity shop worker and, most importantly, an art director. “Kill you, I will, Lewis!”

Gilbert lunged forward with all his mighty strength as the Knife of Expelium plunged deeply through the forehead skin of Evil Floating C.Lewis’ head.

After dying about an hour later, they all gathered around Space Sheep. “He was my friend…” acclaimed Timanus the Man Tiger.

“Don’t,” – Space Sheep coughed up blood and a bit of last nights lamb curry – “count me out yet!”

“As the old saying goes: adepto a generica metaphoricus postea!”

Good Show Sir – the novel – is available from:

Counter of Oxfam Second Hand Book Shop (Luton Branch)
Costa Coffee (Stirling Motorway Services Area M8)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.58 out of 10)
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Mar 28

Oh yes! It’s the Easter weekend and that can only mean one thing, some honourable mentions! These have been sent in to us and oh boy they are simply amazing!

So enjoy the covers and have an excellent long weekend (if you get one!) And once again thanks to all who send in covers and comment on the site. You gals and guys are all amazing, also you keep my grammar correct and my tags sensible!

Sir, this is not the drink I asked for... I said baby space rocket *napalm* explosion... not 'nuclear'!Click for full image

Tat Wood Comments: it was published in 1970 and tells of all the different ways the Earth will end by 2000 AD (although one would be enough). As we are now a dozen years beyond the Best Before date does it now count as fiction? A bit? Sort of?
Published 1970

Compared with the non-deadly type of dying.Click for full image

Laura Comments: I came across this book in a used book store and I was hoping that the badly-drawn tough old guys would fit on Good Show Sir.
Published 2007

And Zoe was let go from the zoo... even though her show and tell seemed to be a big hit with teenage boys and the over 50's.Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Pass... the bucket.... *bLEUUGHHHHHHHH*Click for… ewww…

Jaouad’s Art Direction: Let’s see… Pynchonesque, Burroughsian, Robert Anton Wilson-like… Oh, I know! Tim from Marketing has a girlfriend who does exotic dancing, right? See if you can get her to pose. Ask her to bring one of her pets. Yes, I know the author will want in on this… I’ll think of something.
Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Mar 27

That's Mr Tomorrow! He usually lives in the park drinking bottles of cheap cider!Click for slightly larger image

Joachim Comments: The sci-fi cover equivalent of any of Edward Wood Jr.’s B-movies — a stock photo combined with a child’s drawing of a muscleman in a loin cloth.
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.53 out of 10)
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Mar 26

A classic 70's date... knife-fight some monsters, then off to the roller disco!Click for full image

Frank Comments: This is clearly of the 1970s, a fantasy warrior knife-fighting pose, but in disco dress, with zodiac symbols in the background. And big bugs! Seriously, I looked at it to see if it was an update of “The Radio Man” for the Disco Years. It wasn’t.
Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.39 out of 10)
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Mar 25

Terminator 4 - Baby's Day OutClick for full image

Phil’s Art Direction: Who’s a cute little Harlie? Now, keep still for the cover artist, there’s a good little cyborg. When you grow up, you’ll be a famous writer and have your face on your own book!
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.44 out of 10)
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Mar 22

Even death won't stop high street charity collectors... Click for full image

Jon H Comments: I like how the angry old muppet is about to just SLAP that woman.
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.42 out of 10)
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Mar 21

And so they said goodbye to Mr Crab... as he assended into the heavenly light.Click for full image

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: I need to get into their mindset. What does the public want to see on their book cover… public…. cover…. public… pubic…. GOT IT! Giant floating glowing crab! Maybe a dragon too, but that’s just a background thought!
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.82 out of 10)
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Mar 20

I hate it when you get a metal nipple vest that doesn't fit... so embarrassing!Click for full image

Bilbiomancer Comments: So as I understand it fish started walking upright, evolved into robots, evolved into birdmen, evolved into women, evolved into Human? Got it!
Published 1954
Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.58 out of 10)
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Mar 19

These anti-piracy DRM's are getting a little extreme!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Lady, it’s time to get a Macbook Air.
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Mar 18

Even space sheep doesn't want to censor this cover!Click for full image

Courtney Comments: There are actually some pretty great stories in this collection, but the concept is just ridiculous. Plus, you know, BOOBS.
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.85 out of 10)
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