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Sep 30

Singer to the Sea God

20 Comments »

And another thing it's freezing in here! Can we at least get some HEAT!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Gawd, Sarah, I told ya there’s a reason we don’t come to this restaurant anymore!
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.58 out of 10)
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Aug 21

Ascendant Sun

20 Comments »

Has she stopped looking? I really need to stop sucking in this gut. Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: I want a sexy space princess trying hard not to ogle a slab of beefcake. Have her cleaning out her earwax or something.
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.97 out of 10)
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Aug 10

The Paratwa

28 Comments »

They were the best interpretive dance group in the galaxy.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: And the Hugo Award for Sweatiest Book Cover goes to…
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.84 out of 10)
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Jun 17

A Sword for a Dragon

22 Comments »

Looks like I choose the wrong henchman for stealth!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: “Don’t use your fearsome claws and thick, scaly hide for protection, dragon! Use this unwieldy sword and shield instead! And for God’s sakes, wear a loincloth, we’re civilized here.”
Published 1998 (maybe)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.90 out of 10)
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Jun 03

A Planet for Texans

29 Comments »

Those aren't real Texans... that car isn't nearly big enough.Click for full image

Tat Wood Comments: Sounds like a fair swap.
Published 1958

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.39 out of 10)
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Apr 21

Quester’s Endgame

16 Comments »

Shell suits! Dramatic!Click for full image

MisterBob Comments: Space lady wants a pearl necklace?
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.35 out of 10)
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Jul 28

Brain Wave

18 Comments »

MMM the sky tastes of purple!Click for full image

Lauren Comments: A giant worm-ape? Helping the humans with their dream of reaching the moon.
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.55 out of 10)
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Jul 22

The “Lomokome” Papers

13 Comments »

Meanwhile... at the daemon hair stylists...Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments:
‘It’s called the Loko Meme papers.’
‘The wot?’
‘The Koko Leme papers. I don’t know. I hate these titles. I hate Orko from He-Man. He terrifies my wife, and then she won’t cook anything but broccoli and listen to her jazz LPs on the stereo.’
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.32 out of 10)
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Jan 30

Axe: A Tale of Carthelion

35 Comments »

Looks a bit more like a poleaxe to me!Click for full image

MisterBob’s Art Direction: How about a twist on the Excalibur motif, but an AXE instead of a sword. Clever, eh?
Published 1985 (maybe)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.97 out of 10)
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Jan 28

Thoughtworld

22 Comments »

Somewhere... a ship designer is having a jolly good chuckle!Click for slightly larger image

Andy’s Art Direction: What we need are spaceships and penises. Or if you can’t fit both of those on the cover then just combine them.
Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.03 out of 10)
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