preload
Oct 22

Shut the hell up you blob. If you can drive better you take the controls!Click for full image

In the future pilots won’t just be piloting boring old planes or space ships. No! They’ll be piloting space scooters! Retro space scooters!! Going from space station to station, wearing their retro spacesuits and carrying their cargo of little blue blobs with little tentacles. No? Well, just draw it and hopefully it will come true by 2010.

Thanks to Dave K!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.43 out of 10)
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Oct 21

Look, this relationship just isn't working out....Click for full image

Here you go boss, we’ve spent all weekend on this. It’s called “sea”, right? Well, what do we love under the sea? Mermaids of course! With long hair and large… fins. And what else could we grab people’s attention with? An underwater dragon!!! Booo yeah!!! Just tell me how that doesn’t make perfect sense!?! No boss, you don’t actually have to answer that…

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.76 out of 10)
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Oct 20

This maybe the wrong time, and I may be a goblin. But would you go out with me?Click for full image

What we shouldn’t have is something like ships exploding covering most of the front cover as some four armed goblins fire a cannon. And some blonde women holding her gun as she surveys the scene. Then the title and authors in huge fonts! THEN quotes from reviews just in case we think it’s not busy enough! That’s what we shouldn’t have guys. Right, guys? …Right?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.47 out of 10)
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Oct 14

I would suck your blood, but do you know how hard it is to keep this figure?Click for full image

BONUS Hi-Res Image!
Suitable for framing to hang in your man-cave.

Good Show Sir Art Direction: You know what type of reader suffers in the world of sci-fi/fantasy? Men! We need something for the men! So just put a redhead vampire chick with a huge rack right there on the front cover, holding her shotgun. It’s about time that we have something men can enjoy unlike those, dragons, swords, guns, lasers…….space ships…..oh…

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.27 out of 10)
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Oct 07

Screw you and your damn wolf! I have a fu*king dragon!!Click for full image

I want you to listen to me, very carefully! Wolf howls up to the sky while a dragon flies in the background with a knight on its back. Again in the foreground a bowl cut man stands, his hand grasped firmly and suggestively around his sword. If you want to see your family again you will draw what I tell you.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.03 out of 10)
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Oct 02

How in God's name did you squeeze yourself into that space suit, honey?Click for full image

I need sci-fi mixed in with something suggestive! Yeah baby!! I am talking about tight space suits that make you wonder how they ever got into them. Huge racks and huge packs, if you know what I mean! Guns shaped suggestively like a… you know… *giggles* Whatever you do don’t mess it up with something like giving the women a perm. Are you listening to me?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.27 out of 10)
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Sep 29

I'm not talking to you. Your shoulder pads are better than mine.Click for full image

So I climbed over the mountain peak and made my way through the snow storm. I was close to death and feared I may never see another living soul again. Then I stumbled on the temple, and the great master. There he leaned forward from his mediation. Placing a single flower petal in my hand he whispered, ‘shoulder pads’. It changed my life.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.79 out of 10)
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Sep 28

I can't attack that! Her hair is so 80's!Click for full image

In my life time, I’ve seen dragons vs lasers, dragons vs swords, even dragons vs man-tigers. Where haven’t we gone you ask? Well my dear friend, let me but whisper these words into your ear and pray they don’t start to bleed with pleasure. Dragons vs Concordes! That’s right, with shoulder pads and eighties hair cuts!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.74 out of 10)
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Sep 25

GAHH help me get them out of my head!Click for full image

Excuse me, Sir, there is a phone call for you.

Art Director: Is it ready?
Mysterious caller: It’s more glorious than you could ever imagine.
Art Director: You remembered the…
Mysterious caller: Vampire, Minotaur, Robot, Damsel, Roman man in toga with sword, Angel and death star?
Art Director: Don’t forget Saberhagen.. he must be in there to! Mu hahahahahahaaha!
Mysterious caller: MU hahahahahahahaahhahaaha
Art Director: No… only I may laugh! Mu hahahaahahahah!
Mysterious caller: ………………………

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.31 out of 10)
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Sep 22

God, look at the dirt in this cave. It's like he just shits....he's behind me isn't he?Click for full image

I’m not one to stray from tradition. I’m talking about a dragon in the background, as black as…. uh… AC/DC? Peering at our antagonist will be a huge white wolf and her damsel companion holding the tiniest of flames. Remember, I am also talking traditional proportions here, so make sure nothing is sized relative to anything else. Now who’s up for some Hells’ Bells?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.63 out of 10)
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