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Nov 12

Not to worry my lord! I'll shave this... HIPPY... with my sword!Click for full image

Art Direction: You know when facial hair becomes so intense it actually takes over your head? Well exactly like that, also with an evil blue guy and a king. Oh and a princess! And a guy with a sword! Ah, just put everything on there within a glorious yellow boarder!
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.44 out of 10)
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Nov 09

Scary uncle, still ruins every photo.Click for full image

Nix Comments: You may recognise some aspects of this cover. The huge glowy face on the left? That, I think, is Tung: I suspect Miles is the other glowy face. In the book, Tung’s never described as having any kind of moustache, and it would fit poorly inside a combat helmet, but hey, Eurasians all look like Ming the Merciless, right? Right?
Published 1997

You might remember me from such covers as The Vor Game.
Many thanks to Nix!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.08 out of 10)
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Nov 02

We're about to be drowned in milk!!!!!!Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: That’s a really nice painting you did for the Le Guin cover, but you know what would really sell it? Incorporating this photograph of my nephew and I at the Ren Faire. Don’t be silly, my mod seventies mullet-ponytail combo looks COMPLETELY medieval.
Published 1981 (maybe)

Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.17 out of 10)
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Nov 01

Cover yourself up man! Your tackle is scaring me horse!Click for full image

Jeweleya Comments: This cover is so off-putting to me that I can’t bring myself to read the book. A few highlights –

  • The sword dissolving into blue dust
  • The barbarian’s barely-decent rags (it’s refreshing that the woman is wearing more than the man, for once)
  • The utterly generic, swirly, rainbow-threw-up-on-it background
  • And my personal favorite: the horse that looks like it’s just been flung backwards from a giant slingshot

…Indeed, a cover for the ages.
Published 1978

Many thanks to Jeweleya!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.13 out of 10)
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Oct 28

I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a dwarf!Click for full image

Don Comments: “Helmets with bunny ears will overpower helmets with horns every time. So sayeth Ason the Incredibly Bored!”
Published 1973

Many thanks to Don!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.78 out of 10)
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Oct 27

This is my hair dryer and you can't have it!Click for full image

Danielle Comments: The title phrase says – One man against a wonder planet. Yeah. I wonder why these guys are dressed like some weird bird-fetish group. I wonder why one is holding a ray gun, while the rest have swords. I wonder why they have to have a bird emblazoned on their chest. I guess it’s in case someone misses the fact that they’re full grown men dressed as giant birds
Published 1963

Many thanks to Danielle!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Oct 26

Why do you think I'm grumpy! All this thing does is pick up that gorillas ear wax!Click for full image

Radiano Comments: The Lathe of Heaven – the touching story of a man in toga cranially wired with King Kong.
Published 1983

Many thanks to Radiano!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.38 out of 10)
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Oct 25

No, no - I said kick left and twirl right! Ok: from the top!Click for full image

Corwin Comments: In the future, designer space suits are in style, asynchronous space ballet is an Olympic sport, and we’ve all lost our pinkies.
Published 2008

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.12 out of 10)
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Oct 21

YES! That t-rex IS holding a laser gun!Click for full image

Kristen Comments: Sorry about the poor quality of the shot…in any case, it looks like the designer decided to throw something from EVERY short story in this collection onto the cover. At least I hope so, because if there were also armed dinosaurs, fighter jets, and authors working on home computers on board the Titanic, history books have been holding out on us.
Published 1988

Wow!
Many thanks to Kristen!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.37 out of 10)
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Oct 20

Please help... I can't stand drinking any more recycled urine!Click for full image

GK’s Art Direction: What do you mean you quit! You’re fired! I’ll have someone else finish the picture!
Published 1975

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.89 out of 10)
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