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Mar 08

Patterns of Chaos

14 Comments »

Awww now that depresses me.. someones taken a bite out of my fruit.Click for full image

Thanks to Nix who says:

_Patterns of Chaos_ is a slightly famous book with a lot of amazing setpiece scenes which could have been used for the cover, starting with the destruction of entire planets, meticulously described, and ending with a transgalactic trip to a memorably unpleasant destination. If any book counts as overblown space opera, this one does.

So what did they use for the cover? A scowling cowled bloke, a weird plant, a badly-designed castle and a random number generator.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.09 out of 10)
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Apr 04

Year of the Unicorn

17 Comments »

Adult nip-slip fantasyClick for larger image

Charles Art Direction: “Under no circumstance put a unicorn on the cover”.

Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.95 out of 10)
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Oct 17

Our Friends From Frolix 8

25 Comments »

Suppositories... the only cure for bighanditis... doesn't help bigheaditis much though.Click for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction: I want a picture that will be timeless. Like a mash-up of Peter Max meets Chairman Mao. Art like that will never go out of style. Now give me another foot-long pill and leave me alone. I’ve got a lot of art-making to do!
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.61 out of 10)
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May 17

The Fall of Hyperion

31 Comments »

In other worlds, going to visit Santa at christmas just isn't the same...Click for full image

The Tim’s Art Direction:Give me a dude in front of a pyramid with some spikey armor. No, more spikes. More. Still not enough spikes. More spikes! More!
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.31 out of 10)
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Jan 09

The English Assassin

30 Comments »

You hear about the english man fish assassin? He got battered! Ah ha ha... sorry...Click for full image

Joachim Comments: Doing the fish dance! Steps: 1) make sure you have a fish head, 2) limp wrists, 3) and a steady gurgle.
Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.42 out of 10)
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Nov 12

Collision Course

16 Comments »

I concur Doctor Alien Face Space Ship...Click for full image

Kim Comments: Don’t even know where to start.
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.59 out of 10)
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Aug 02

The Snow Queen

37 Comments »

Sci-Fi - sexually awaking teenage boys since the 1960's!Click for full image

Kelly Comments: Considering that later editions have an absolutely gorgeous cover by Michael Whelan, I’m always a bit horrified to see the travesty on my own copy of the book. It looks like a poster for some kind of low-budget 70s bondage. My poor eyes!

Muttley Comments: Did you see a mouse? I’m sure there’s a mouse in here. Gonna blow that mouse away . . .
Published 1981

Thanks to Kelly and Muttley who both sent this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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Oct 14

Starkissed

34 Comments »

Sex? I actually reproduce via spores... ah well...Click for slightly bigger image

Hayley Comments: This is what the back-cover says, “Warning: Graphic sex between a human woman and an alien male who is anatomically different from human men!”
Published 2008

Many thanks to Hayley!
Submitted through our wonderful Facebook group!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.30 out of 10)
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Nov 09

Sea Dragon Heir

19 Comments »

OI! Can't you see I'm having a bath here!?Click for full image

Do dragons wash themselves? I guess they’d have to. Who would want to ride on the back of a big stinking dragon, eh? Ah hahaha – so have one in the sea or something, scrubbing away. And have some damsel stumble across him. And though I kinda want them, best not draw any dragon ‘bits’.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.08 out of 10)
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Apr 15

Spyder? Seriously?

8 Comments »

Hello! HELLLLLLOOOOOClick for full image

Shiinnnny so shiny……. Yea that’s exactly what I want people to say when they look at the cover. I want silver, a black web, and a little spyder… sorry I mean spider… but you see what I was doing there… right?

Thanks to Graeme!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.27 out of 10)
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