Good Show Sir

It’s time for Mars Sexytime Honourable Mentions. And it’s a score in more ways than one. Scraping the bottom of the Mars barrel, here are three also-rans that, for various reasons, didn’t meet our STRICT AND RIGIDLY ENFORCED GROUND RULES.

Sex Life on the Planet Mars. I can’t find much info on whether this is comedy, sci-fi or maybe even a mystery. But I’m not surprised it’s written by this guy. Somewhere Capt Kirk is getting a boner.

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A Princess of Mars. Further proof of the benefits of novels losing their copyright and entering the public domain. This is an actual by-the-rules science fiction book cover, but it’s print-on-demand and I didn’t feel like spending a tenner of Tag Wizard’s expense account money to buy a copy.

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Mars Ho! It’s a Kindle ebook cover. I think it’s also paperback but, since nobody is in a hurry to send that cover in, this will just have to do.

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Good Show Sir Comments: Thanks to Cyndi-with-an-i, me, and Sir Douglas Quintet for sending these in.

Published 1986, 2008, and 2017

(Average: 6.20 out of 10)

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Tom Noir Comments: “Ohhh yes. She CAN take more of this, captain, if ye take my meaning!”
Published 1999

(Average: 7.76 out of 10)

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Tor Mented Comments: I’m not sure if this horror anthology ought to have a “snake person” tag or just an “anatomical issues” tag.

Or Neither! It’s a cat lady! — Tag Wizard

Published 1997

(Average: 6.16 out of 10)

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RachelJ Art Direction: “This is no ordinary novel. Not even a “A Novel”. This is… “A MOSAIC”. I want every element of the cover– title, subtitle, font, artwork– to blend harmoniously into one vast, resounding “WTF”.

Do it justice, my boy.”

[Note: It’s not my camera. The cover image is just really, really dark and murky and it’s hard to tell what anything is.]

Published 1990

(Average: 6.80 out of 10)

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FluffyGhostKitten Comments: Ever heard of ‘fractal wrongness’? Draw that. And don’t forget the naked lady. The naked lady is essential.

Published 1997

(Average: 6.32 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir Comments: Cover art, suitable for framing, from the artist’s website.
From his biography:
Peter died much too soon but at least he was sitting in a bar with a drink in front of him. There are worse ways to go. At his funeral the vicar said he was probably “getting in the rounds” in heaven. I like to think he’s painting there too … He was intelligent and widely read and a regular member of his local pub’s quiz and cricket teams, though he would say that was mainly for the beer! He died in March 1998 in Skegness while he and some colleagues were working on a mural at Butlins, relaxing in the hotel bar after work.

Published 1979

(Average: 7.84 out of 10)

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It’s a Spacepaws Two-Fer Tuesday!

#1 By the time Vacation to the Planet of the Apes was released the franchise had run out of ideas.

#2 Oh boy! Chase the ball … chase the ball … chase the ball …

Published 1969 and 1976

You might remember this from here

(Average: 8.36 out of 10)

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David Jollie Comments: Don’t bother reading the book, just take a guess at what might be in it. Okay, so you think there should be an eyeball and some lips. Okay. On fire? Really? And a cow’s skull with a Tiara on? Well…. Okay.

Published 1970

(Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir Comments: Fun fact. For some reason I am reminded that he Latin word for “sword sheath” is vagina.

Published 1986

(Average: 4.92 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir Comments: In response to yesterday’s German Sex-Robot Extravaganza, we’ve just received this Italian submission. One can only imagine what the Japanese are publishing in this genre.

Published 1998

Thanks to Armando for sending this in.

(Average: 6.28 out of 10)

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