Good Show Sir

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Bibliomancer’s Comments: “Get your slimy squid tentacles off my cleaning lady. Domestic servants are hard to find!”
Published 1975

The epic wraparound cover

(Average: 7.06 out of 10)

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That’s right! It is finally here – Good Show Sir: The Book! It’s taken me a while to write because of the many pre-conjunctions but it’s coming out this month! My family and friends told me my real name isn’t strong enough so I have chosen a pen name to write under.

Title: Good Show Sir
Author: Dr. J. R. Asimov
Publisher: Self Published
Publish Date: 1st April 2013
Synopsis: Gilbert W. Izard is a mild-mannered book editor in search of that one special cover with everything on it. One day he happens upon a strange antique tome that leads him into a hidden world and on an adventure that neither he… NOR YOU… will ever forget.

And I even have a special treat for you! An excerpt from the book itself.

“Nooooo!” screamed Space Sheep the anthropomorphic cyborg sheepmage, as he dove in front of Evil Floating C.S.Lewis’ head’s laser beam.

Space Sheep lay on the ground motionless for he had taken the bullet laser for Tiffany deLarge Cleavage. She bounced over to him wearing her female adventurers outfit, just enough to cover her devil’s dumplings and glared at Evil C.S.Lewis’s floating head. “You monster,” she muttered sorrowfully.

“That’s right,” proclaimed the Floating Evil Head of C.S. Lewis, “there is no-one left to stop me!”

Suddenly there was a voice.

“Think again Lewis!” said Gilbert W. Izard, a man of granite with muscles loved throughout every nation. He was: the greatest fighter in all the realm; a lover of women (apart from that one time in university); a dragon tamer; a skilled knife fighter; Pac-Man 2008 Blackpool International champion; a practicing magician; part time charity shop worker and, most importantly, an art director. “Kill you, I will, Lewis!”

Gilbert lunged forward with all his mighty strength as the Knife of Expelium plunged deeply through the forehead skin of Evil Floating C.Lewis’ head.

After dying about an hour later, they all gathered around Space Sheep. “He was my friend…” acclaimed Timanus the Man Tiger.

“Don’t,” – Space Sheep coughed up blood and a bit of last nights lamb curry – “count me out yet!”

“As the old saying goes: adepto a generica metaphoricus postea!”

Good Show Sir – the novel – is available from:

Counter of Oxfam Second Hand Book Shop (Luton Branch)
Costa Coffee (Stirling Motorway Services Area M8)

(Average: 8.58 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Look, all I’m saying is I want a women with three boobs on there. It’s every mans dream right? Let’s keep it classy though and make sure she has stars covering her nipples. That way it’s not really smut, it’s… ah forget it, we might as well put our aviator sunglasses on, we’re making nerd porn!
Published 1983

(Average: 6.69 out of 10)

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Scott Comments: Elven stripper riding a giant flying owl-cat steed! Or, tiny Elven stripper riding a normal-sized owl-cat steed? Either way, that’s one terrifying/terrified owl-cat.
Published 1983

(Average: 7.67 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Lets get this done with, I have a squash game to get to! Right, got it! Half women, the topless half I might add and half… I don’t know… Golden retriever?
Published 1977

(Average: 7.22 out of 10)

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Raj’s Art Direction: Hmm, green, let’s go for a green rural idyll, with a giant green flying cat. Oh, and a woman in a green corset and very little else. In fact, make the woman riding the cat, while holding a sword. And that still leaves a little bit of space, why not fill it with a giant moon?
Published 1976

Many thanks to Raj!

(Average: 7.73 out of 10)

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You know what I love when admiring the female form. If only they’d put on a robe, a death mask and pick up a scythe. Man, if we draw a women like that. Why are you looking at me like that guys? Don’t tell me you’ve never thought of it before. No? Really? Oh.

Thanks to CSA!

(Average: 8.09 out of 10)

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OH OH OH! Let’s have a half naked man grasping his magic electrified sword around waist height. That sounds suggestive? Of course it is, he’s holding a sword right next to his baby maker. A ha ha ha. Don’t forget to overload the whole cover with text, a lot of text, in all shapes and sizes.

(Average: 8.46 out of 10)

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Harry’s Art Direction: I know it’s a serious novel about a bunch of survivors on an Alien world. I know it’s written by Joanna Russ. Yes, Fred, I KNOW who she is, but portraying the heroine as competent won’t sell books. This is the 70s, man, so you just GOTTA stick her in a silver bikini and put her on a phallic rocket cycle – and don’t forget to make it a crotch shot.
Published 1978

(Average: 7.53 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Well here’s my Nephew, a silver jump suit and a box of mangoes. Now just head out to that field and get me a picture. I’m sure whatever you come up with will be just fine.
Published 1969

My favourite thing about the book.
Weird Cover – Written by the book store owner!

(Average: 8.67 out of 10)

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