Good Show Sir

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Eyelashes! We’ll have a dragon with eyelashes, peering over at some wizard reading his dragon magical book. It won’t just be any mage, he’ll have a magical staff! Unheard of I know. And a side parting to make the king of side partings proud. As for the title, make it silver. We have to stand out somehow.

(Average: 6.04 out of 10)

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It’s time for Mars Sexytime Honourable Mentions. And it’s a score in more ways than one. Scraping the bottom of the Mars barrel, here are three also-rans that, for various reasons, didn’t meet our STRICT AND RIGIDLY ENFORCED GROUND RULES.

Sex Life on the Planet Mars. I can’t find much info on whether this is comedy, sci-fi or maybe even a mystery. But I’m not surprised it’s written by this guy. Somewhere Capt Kirk is getting a boner.

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A Princess of Mars. Further proof of the benefits of novels losing their copyright and entering the public domain. This is an actual by-the-rules science fiction book cover, but it’s print-on-demand and I didn’t feel like spending a tenner of Tag Wizard’s expense account money to buy a copy.

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Mars Ho! It’s a Kindle ebook cover. I think it’s also paperback but, since nobody is in a hurry to send that cover in, this will just have to do.

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Good Show Sir Comments: Thanks to Cyndi-with-an-i, me, and Sir Douglas Quintet for sending these in.

Published 1986, 2008, and 2017

(Average: 6.04 out of 10)

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Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Men in capes having a knife fight. Just what I asked for but… only one Ting!? Well alright… we best make the font shiny silver so people might be able to get a real Ting too!
Published 1990

(Average: 6.04 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Wave… WAVE!?! Well there you go my boy, we have our answer right there. Let’s put a huge wave on there with a lighthouse and a helicopter to try and show some size perspective. I’m sure it will be all fine. And it’s day time so lens flare the hell out of that lighthouse. They run during the day right?
Published 2010

(Average: 6.03 out of 10)

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Danielle Comments: This is about brain-snatchers from another planet. That makes sense. Oh, who am I kidding?
Published 1970

Many thanks to Danielle!

(Average: 6.03 out of 10)

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Clairepie Comments: There is a blue boobed lady on the front, that’s how you know it’s good Sci Fi!
Published 1977

(Average: 6.02 out of 10)

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Bibliomancer Comments: That appears to be a right hand attached to a left arm coming through the wall.

Published 1983

You might remember this from here.

(Average: 6.02 out of 10)

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Monkey Comments: A cat, a horse and buggy, a floating cop car, explosions and… gosh that’s a nice outfit, don’t you think?
Published 1983 (Possibly)

(Average: 6.02 out of 10)

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Well I want a red headed women talking to a camp looking dragon while she shows a bit of leg. Andre.. stop laughing! It’s not like your covers are any better! Jeeeezz… Ah F it.. just put a well built guy laughing his ass off in the background. That can be you Andre…you knob.

(Average: 6.02 out of 10)

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Bookworm Bas Comments: A 1978 PAN edition. I like the play on words with the title submitting ‘sex’ for ‘things’ in reference to H.G.Wells. I also like the artwork. After all who doesn’t like naked women? No relation to any of the stories of course. At least I don’t recall any flying platform jetting away from a mountain range while a nude women, her decency protected only by her exceptionally long brunette hair, is overcome with emotion. Still I bet they sold a few and I reckon the hair extensions were painted in later (which is a shame I think).

(Average: 6.00 out of 10)

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