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Mar 22

Idiots! These blueprints show the rocket pointing straight up and down!Click for full image

Alice Comments: Takeoff? Take off that bomber jacket, Captain Beefcake!

Published 1953

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.26 out of 10)
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Apr 03

Look I maybe an alien entity of fire... But I ain't dating a girl with only four digits!Click for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction:OK so you painted an awesome space fire monster, and the iron moons are cool, and you even got the starfield in the corner, but aren’t you forgetting something? Yeah, girl ass. And make it blue. She’s an alien. You think these paperbacks just sell themselves?”
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.25 out of 10)
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Sep 03

That frozen dragon sure is hung like a... whale...Click for full image

I was thinking of a beautiful misty icy snow covered landscape with, *cough* , a couple of Eskimos looking upon a dragon frozen in a tower of ice. That’s what I want, what more can I say? …Wait – make it so purple it makes your eyes bleed!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.25 out of 10)
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Oct 14

Blind man about to get a surprise in the Please Touch MuseumClick for full image

Perry Comments: I actually rather like the artwork for this junior, abridged edition (even the title’s abridged!), but remain intrigued by the gentleman depicted at centre. Either he was already blind, or, assuming he’s one of the multitude blinded the night before, clearly thought it important to locate/don dark glasses prior to venturing outside!

Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.25 out of 10)
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Feb 06

And your bird can sing

Raoul Comments: Let’s go pick up some chicks!

Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.25 out of 10)
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Jun 02

A Master of OafsClick for larger image

Rick Deckard Comments: His Escher girlfriend appears to be both inside and outside the spaceship.

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.25 out of 10)
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May 18

Armor gonna bash your head inClick for larger image

Roscoe Comments: I can’t make any sense out of this blurb.

Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.25 out of 10)
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Apr 12

The Snorts Are OursClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: If not rip-snorting, the artist is snorting something else.

Thanks to Ryan for sending this in!

You might remember this from here. And here.

Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.25 out of 10)
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Apr 22

The Fingered Fat GirlClick for larger image

Esmeralda Comments: Yonder is the shopping mall. Buy her some clothes.

Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.25 out of 10)
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Feb 02

Brunner, Body-snatchers and Beyond!Click for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: I like the spaceships, but the speed skating repairmen are ridiculous.

Published 1965

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.25 out of 10)
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