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Apr 28

pfffft! No one goes into battle in their pajama bottoms!Click for full image

Don’s Art Direction: Sorry, we can’t afford live models for this one. You’ll have to make do with the, “Barbarian Barbie & Ken With Stunned Horse” play-set.
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.31 out of 10)
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Feb 24

Using this control panel is dangerous. It's already stabbed me in the chest.Click for full image

GK Comments: There must be something a lot more interesting going on to his right.
Published 1986

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.58 out of 10)
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Feb 17

Nice Beaver! Thanks I just had it stuffed!Click for full image

Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Stevens! We have a problem. ‘Demon Muskrat Vixens,’ just came back from the printers with a picture of some giant cube on the cover. What happened to that crazy ass piece we originally commissioned for it?!

Update: New, improved cover photo supplied by Tom Noir!

Published 1993

Many thanks to Tom!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.75 out of 10)
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Dec 01

Elephants have the natural ability to survive in the vacuum of space. No? Well, draw it that anyway, bub.Click for full image

Greengerg’s Art Direction: Elephants have the natural ability to survive in the vacuum of space. No? Well, draw it that anyway, bub.
Published 1985

Many thanks to Greengerg!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.98 out of 10)
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Oct 08

I may be freezing and dying of hypothermia... but boy to I look good...Click for full image

Art Direction: We don’t need an artist! Have you seen what I can do with photoshop? Look, I can take this picture of Karen and… BAM… she’s blue! I know, hilarious right? And that’s not it, just cut and paste and… WHAM… she’s in a badly rendered icy landscape looking cold. Stick in the title and oh hold on, why is it behind her arm… Layers? Sounds like witchcraft to me. Finished!
Published 2004

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.88 out of 10)
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Sep 08

This is how big my skull should be, I suffer from tiny headitis.Click for full image

Sonya’s Art Direction: Instead of two views of wonder, how about a riot of color and image? Perhaps a plant for every short story in the collection? Oh, and throw in a Frida Kahlo lookalike holding a skull ala Hamlet to show that these are serious stories…
Published 1974

Many thanks to Sonya!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.46 out of 10)
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Aug 04

Good god, there's a small planet above that building!Click for full image

Deborah Comments: Actually I think this is quite good, apart from the woman being none of the central characters – Heris is black, Lady Cecilia’s a redhead, Bubbles is blonde. But the COLORS are a little unsubtle!
Published 1995

Click here for the previous Winning Colours cover.
Many thanks to Deborah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.40 out of 10)
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Jul 30

The leader of the revolution, Senior Turkey Face, is gone. Get the sage and onion.Click for full image

GK’s Art Direction: I need this cover by 5 o’clock! Just go out and take a picture of something!
Published 1969

AHHH! Kill it! Kill it!
Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.65 out of 10)
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Jun 22

Welcome to this lovely planet, here's my cloak of DAEMONS!Click for full image

Sarah Comments: This cover raises a lot of questions. Are those pointed shoes? What’s up with his hands? Do all “galactic Machiavellis” keep the souls of deceased dinosaurs in their cloaks? Why does he look as though a slight breeze would knock him over?
Published 1973

Leggings and a dinner suit. Good look!
Many thanks to Sarah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.94 out of 10)
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Feb 08

I am the queen of blending in... minus this whole fireball thing...Click for full image

Listen to me carefully, I said give me a big bosomed women standing in front of some governmental type building casting a beefy fireball. With extra lens flare! Then place every sentence and word in a different type font. Oh wait… that’s what you’ve done.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.35 out of 10)
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