preload
Sep 07

A Spell of Deceit

15 Comments »

There was two in the bed and the little one said, 'Alica remotionem corporis!'Click for full image

MisterBOB’s Art Direction: I think we all know what the author means by spells, wands in children’s hands. Paint the errors involved!
Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.94 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • •

Sep 01

Silverlight

30 Comments »

This is in no way... PHALLIC!Click for full image

Jitterbug Comments: Looks like the main hero forgot to bring his metamucil along with him on his quest to save the world and looking at vampire girls reaction, it’s a stinker!
Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.11 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • •

Aug 31

Polymath

24 Comments »

This is what happens when you learn maths!Click for full image

Man of the Mountains Comments:Nothing says super powers better than banks of ray guns built into a guy’s skull!
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.73 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • •

Aug 29

Honourable Mentions 8

18 Comments »

Well today is a bank holiday and I completely forgot about it. Almost got up to go to work! Almost…

So for all your enjoyment here is a few covers that I believe make the Honourable Mentions standard! Have a good holiday for those who remembered!

No! I said lets go get tanked... not lets go make ourselves some tank hats that we can't see out of!Click for full image

DarkZlorf Comments: I’m sure I left my tank parked around here?
Published 1979

I'm going to use my magic globe to see how the battle is going, instead of turning around.Click for full image

Completely stolen from the wonderful Awful Library Books, but because the top left is clearly a copy of Keith Parkinson’s Dragons of War, I thought it too good not to mention! Thanks to John for letting me know about it!

Paper Dolls... more manly than just dolls. Or at least, that's what I told myself.Click for full image

So I found this is in a touristy shop in the wonderful San Diego… paper dolls… what’s with that? Anyway, I had hours of fun recreating all my covers that day!
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.65 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Aug 26

Wanderer

22 Comments »

Quickly men, we can almost see up his robes! Zap him with your electric wood!Click for full image

Jami Comments: It’s like Sarek Of Vulcan has somehow been crossed with a stereotypical hero in a western version of a Japanese movie. Meanwhile bubble headed bobbies are threatening him with roman candles.
Published 1985

Click here for the back cover

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.47 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Aug 12

Magic Slays

20 Comments »

Dating websites always seem to set me up with lions...Click for full image

Art Direction: A normal lion! That’s right, not a man lion or even a lion holding a laser rifle. You see, that guy by the water cooler was a genius! Why change a winning formula? Expect this time, leave off the sword and instead we’ll have lots of magical glowing. Magical… purple glowing!
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.30 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • •

Aug 05

In the Shadow of Omizantrim

12 Comments »

Playboy Paperbacks - Providing the thoughts of the internet, before the internet!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: I want a sultry naked blonde chick right up front, but she should be part supermodel and part sasquatch. She’ll need tiny webbed talon paws, a foxtail, and wings- or maybe just one big wing! And throw in a little hot genie-on-genie action for good measure.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.91 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • •

Jul 29

Rensime

33 Comments »

I learnt this one from Japanese teenagers...Click for full image

Art Direction: You know what I feel enhances any work of art… glow! Imagine the scene, two young lovers entwined in… tentacles… and around them a mystical blue glow to signify magic or possibly the sharing of deep feelings. Nah I’m just kidding, we all know what he’s going to use those things for. But the glow will enchance something I’m sure!
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.81 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • •

Jul 18

French Mega Post

22 Comments »

I haven’t done a mega post or an honourable mentions in a while so here we go! Here’s a collection of some special French covers sent in by Cedric and Paul. Thanks very much and I hope everyone enjoys them!

Seriously... what?!!?Click for full image

Cedric Comments: Here is a wonderfully psychedelic and disturbing cover. This is before Photoshop, in the late 70s/early 80s.
Published 1977

Shoo! Shoo! We're trying to have an evil picnic here!Click for full MORALLY CORRUPTIBLE image

Cedric Comments: Note the strange animal at the front, confused about whether it should be a polar bear, an unicorn or some kind of big eagle. Or maybe a big confused cat, judging by the claws? And of course you can find a lightly clad lady in the back, requested by the marketing department to boost sales.
Published 1982

Once you get used to the fur everywhere and the feces they're surprisingly good warriors!Click for full image

Cedric Comments: There is something highly disturbing about these little hairy folks.
Published 1990

Eyes, or kiwi's?Click for full image

Paul’s Art Direction: Mutants have eyes. This is an anthology of mutant stories that means lots of eyes in fact so many eyes you could float on them, do it!
Published 1974

Space Sheep censoring doesn't count for ugly nakedness!Click for full image

Paul’s Art Direction: Make everything droopy!
Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.61 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Jul 13

Catseye

21 Comments »

I CAN HAS PSYCHIC POWERS?Click for full image

Skipweasel Comments: Pink cats with orange eyes – humans with bubbles – you can almost understand why Norton was happy having her name almost invisible in orange on pink.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.25 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • •