Good Show Sir

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Well after CSA’s comments yesterday with Mr Ellison I noted he said this, “We should post a pic of the Bible tomorrow and see if Jesus posts within 24hours.”

I decided to take him up on that suggestion with this, sent into me about a year ago. And to Mr Ellison, I sent CSA to bed last night without super and I didn’t even read him his nightly install of Harry Potter verses Terminator. Thanks for commenting!

A real cover will be posted later!

Good Show Sir, Good Sir.

(Average: 6.88 out of 10)

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Eron comments: This cover isn’t really funny. The art isn’t even particularly bad. But a warning to anyone who has ever even had the passing notion to take a graphic design class: do not look at this cover, you will get a rage-migrane for days. The layout is so shockingly poor and amateur that the thought that someone got paid for this, not beaten in a alley, just plain makes me want to drink whiskey and punch random objects!

My eyes…my eyes! Thanks to Eron!

(Average: 4.83 out of 10)

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Ouranou Comments: Cat people.

It sure is, it sure is! Cheers to Ouranou!

(Average: 6.85 out of 10)

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Jen’s Art Direction: A book about telepaths, you say? You’re blowing my mind. In fact, that’s just what we need on the cover! A man with his head exploding! And if that doesn’t just scream sci-fi, we’ll put him in coveralls and put after-images of him all over the place. Oh, and emboss it. All of it. I want everything to stand out.

Thanks so much to Jen!

(Average: 7.65 out of 10)

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I love the realism, so we’ll definitely have to get that on there. In fact I think we should tone it down a little. We’ll keep it simple so it’s not too bad (and almost like it’s creeping up on its prey) then WHAM! We’ll hit them with a gold black red title banner!

(Average: 6.65 out of 10)

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Tamsym comments: Found in a charity shop on the Isle of Wight, I’ve been looking for a home for this baby for six months. It’s got all the hallmarks of a classic: nipples – check; vacuous expression – check; absolutely no relevance to the title – check.

I’m not saying ghosts can’t be gay, mind. But you have to wonder about the plot arc, eh?

Thanks so much to Tamsyn!

(Average: 8.37 out of 10)

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What if we go for something that’s kind of a cross between art and an eighties music video? We’ll have flaming eye balls and some women with retro make-up playing with her magical sticks. Then just pack any text at the top and if we can, make it like an ancient scroll banner. Classy.

(Average: 8.02 out of 10)

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Women love their horses and I’m pretty sure everyone grows up wanting that pony all their life. So that’s what we’ll give ’em. Except give the horse a certain quality, an almost surprised expression as he stares off into the vast distance. And give the L&D letters of the title a black fill. I can’t see that one back-firing.

(Average: 5.67 out of 10)

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Look, I am busy – what the hell do you want? Cover ideas? My god, man. You’re new here, right? Here’s the sheet, it has everything we need. Huge terrible multicoloured fonts, obligatory best selling author line and something like a women in a space suit looking generally awful. Don’t worry kid, you’ll pick it up soon enough. Then you’ll be one with us. Don’t run… don’t run…

(Average: 5.11 out of 10)

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Look, I’m all for drawing yourself on the cover – but it comes at a price. A translucent alien head staring at the reader, some lightning on the hills and (my forte) flying avocados! And I really mean avocados with pink wings. With that all there, you can just draw how you feel.

(Average: 8.51 out of 10)

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