Click for full SHOCKINGLY UNCENSORED image
Art Direction: Lets get this done with, I have a squash game to get to! Right, got it! Half women, the topless half I might add and half… I don’t know… Golden retriever?
Published 1977
Click for full SHOCKINGLY UNCENSORED image
Art Direction: Lets get this done with, I have a squash game to get to! Right, got it! Half women, the topless half I might add and half… I don’t know… Golden retriever?
Published 1977
Miggity’s Art Direction: Shirtless black dude in tighty whities with a space helmet and a pneumatic fishing spear gun, flanked by two white Amazonian women in see through tops giving the whole thing a weird sex vibe, with a spacecraft carrier, space figthers, four planets and sweet moon base in the foreground… PERFECT!
Published 1981
Many thanks to Miggity!
Eron Comments: This cover is particularly appalling because of it’s simplicity. We get the text: Unicorns. Peace. Then the image: Unicorn. Twilight. BIG ORANGE Unicorn. Castle. Sure. Also, it seems to me that something is wrong on the perspective on the unicorn… it’s sort of falling on it’s side if I’m seeing it correctly?
Many thanks to Eron!
HOLY father of APOLLO! I have it, again! Cat people! Oh alright, we won’t have it just as bad as last time but we should have at least three of them. And some guy with a beard, and an alien city, and purple fonts that burn into your mind.
Doctor: It’s alright Madame, your Son simply has a case of the TeenFlu.
Concerned Mother: Thank you doctor, is there anything I can do for him?
Doctor: Well, I prescribe some awesome red and yellow training warrior monks, a large dude in a kimono and a busty women in a gold bikini grasping her short sword. Here, take this book.
Concerned Mother: Uh… you’re a medical doctor right?
Doctor: My doctorate came in a toblerone box.
Concerned Mother: Ohhhhhhh K, well I’ll be going.
You know what all guns should have? Large magazine, maybe. Insanely large silencer on the end, possibly. A leather clad busty blonde, you’re almost there. Nope? All guns should have a guitar hero controller. When wouldn’t you want to stop fighting and starpower some AC/DC?!
Click for new, improved, hi-def image
There are few times in life when I boast of attaining perfection. The fonts, the scary woman who looks a little too desperate for a man, the man frozen as he runs away, the mist, the obligatory quote and lets not forget the glow. I can see it now. We are giving them something so beautiful that people will shed tears of joy.
Well, we’ve got the red on there, ’cause of fire being in the title. We’ve got the epic dragon and the merlin esk wizard with his magic orb. But we’re missing something. Something that’s going to make someone pick up the book and think, ‘this is the one.’ Of course!! Surround the title in an awesome gold shiny goodness!
Tom Noir Comments: Alternate title – “I Got 3rd Degree Burns At 2nd Base”
Published 1971
Bibliomancer Comments: Don’t bring a squirt gun to a sword fight.
Published 1981
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