Good Show Sir

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I need sci-fi mixed in with something suggestive! Yeah baby!! I am talking about tight space suits that make you wonder how they ever got into them. Huge racks and huge packs, if you know what I mean! Guns shaped suggestively like a… you know… *giggles* Whatever you do don’t mess it up with something like giving the women a perm. Are you listening to me?

(Average: 8.27 out of 10)

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So I climbed over the mountain peak and made my way through the snow storm. I was close to death and feared I may never see another living soul again. Then I stumbled on the temple, and the great master. There he leaned forward from his mediation. Placing a single flower petal in my hand he whispered, ‘shoulder pads’. It changed my life.

(Average: 7.79 out of 10)

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In my life time, I’ve seen dragons vs lasers, dragons vs swords, even dragons vs man-tigers. Where haven’t we gone you ask? Well my dear friend, let me but whisper these words into your ear and pray they don’t start to bleed with pleasure. Dragons vs Concordes! That’s right, with shoulder pads and eighties hair cuts!

(Average: 6.90 out of 10)

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Excuse me, Sir, there is a phone call for you.

Art Director: Is it ready?
Mysterious caller: It’s more glorious than you could ever imagine.
Art Director: You remembered the…
Mysterious caller: Vampire, Minotaur, Robot, Damsel, Roman man in toga with sword, Angel and death star?
Art Director: Don’t forget Saberhagen.. he must be in there to! Mu hahahahahahaaha!
Mysterious caller: MU hahahahahahahaahhahaaha
Art Director: No… only I may laugh! Mu hahahaahahahah!
Mysterious caller: ………………………

(Average: 8.45 out of 10)

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I’m not one to stray from tradition. I’m talking about a dragon in the background, as black as…. uh… AC/DC? Peering at our antagonist will be a huge white wolf and her damsel companion holding the tiniest of flames. Remember, I am also talking traditional proportions here, so make sure nothing is sized relative to anything else. Now who’s up for some Hells’ Bells?

(Average: 6.80 out of 10)

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*Hick* awwwww yeaaaahhh that’s some good boooze…. Cover? Ok. How about, dude…leaning over women, not checking out her chest…. this time… A-hahahaha! And some ghost! Yeaaaaa a ghost tossing top trump cards at them! Hahaha that would be so annoying it would be like… ow ow ow… wooo blah! weeeeeeeeeeeeeee *hick*

(Average: 7.58 out of 10)

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Think of your target audience, 15 year old boys and 39 year old single males still living with their parents. So that would be, a women with an unimaginable rack walks in space across….liquid alien gooey stuff….and then just throw in a red computer grid and some flying male/female symbols. Sorted! We’ve pretty much got a winner!

Thanks to Mairi! 🙂

(Average: 7.42 out of 10)

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You know what the 1970’s scream? Car movies and Shaft. Everyone against the MAN! So kinda like those films but with a wind powered car, some small alien dude, an alien sting ray, spears, horrific landscape and some hot alien amazon chick pushing out her chest. Dig it!

Thanks so much to – guess who? – of course, the legend ChrisR!

(Average: 6.90 out of 10)

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With books today, you know what people are too obsessed with? That’s right, art! Why not (and you are going to love this) just have a female model dressed up as a pirate, teasing a little as she holds her swords to her lofty chest. With the addition of a terrible font we’ll draw a completely accurate picture of how things were like in ‘ye olden days.’

(Average: 7.33 out of 10)

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Right, with a title like that I mean it’s self explanatory, we’ll put a dragon there. What? A bikinni clad busty women with a bow and arrow? Well I don’t see….. and a space ship? But..but….oh alright then, but I’m going to give the women some furs to cover her shame. And by shame I clearly mean shoulders! Yeahhh! High five anyone? Anyone….?

(Average: 7.42 out of 10)

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