Good Show Sir

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So when people escape from prison what usually happens to them? That’s right, their clothes rip. So the guy will be showing his well shaved muscle bound chest where as the women will show basically everything. We’ll have that, but with Mechs too! Because what cover isn’t improved with the addition of Mechs?

Thanks to Christopher!

(Average: 7.45 out of 10)

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Stevyn Comments: I’m ashamed to say that I was the artist in this case. A terrible cover for what is possibly the worst fantasy book ever written.

And with such great lines in this book such as, ‘The effeminate albino pursed his thick lips in that certain way to suggest he was male, but homosexual.’

Read more about this on Stevyn’s website here: http://stevyncolgan.blogspot.com/2008/07/you-really-must-take-vista-be-vigil.html

Good Show Sir! Thank you for sending this in.

(Average: 8.65 out of 10)

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Leo Comments: Nothing says “Sci-Fi” like a robed guy reading to some naked ladies infront of a box full of bleeps and bloops. I havent read this book yet but I’m sure I’m in for a wild ride.

The Perms.. the perms! Thanks Leo!

(Average: 6.39 out of 10)

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Giles Comments: I love the Taltos novels, but these covers actually stopped me buying the books several times – they’re so cheesy. True, the artist gets some credit for getting the jhereg (the winged reptile) approximately right, but that doesn’t really offset the general awfulness.

Tache-tastic! Thanks to Giles!

(Average: 8.16 out of 10)

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Eron comments: This cover isn’t really funny. The art isn’t even particularly bad. But a warning to anyone who has ever even had the passing notion to take a graphic design class: do not look at this cover, you will get a rage-migrane for days. The layout is so shockingly poor and amateur that the thought that someone got paid for this, not beaten in a alley, just plain makes me want to drink whiskey and punch random objects!

My eyes…my eyes! Thanks to Eron!

(Average: 4.83 out of 10)

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Hex Comments: The guy on the left is a sort of expert undercover first contact agent, whose job is to alter the course of developing cultures on newly-discovered worlds to suit the needs of Earth. How he manages to do it while being chafed by that jockstrap I will never understand. Sometimes I gaze at the Yeti in a jumper while I try to figure it out.

Incidentally, this book is spattered with grimly bad black and white illustrations that completely contradict the style of the cover. Nice work, Ace!

Excellent! Thanks Hex!

(Average: 7.27 out of 10)

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Richard’s Art Direction: Ok, I want the devil playing chess on a life-size board with warriors from different periods of history. Don’t forget to throw in a few other random characters, at least one man must clad in leather and a scarf and find a spot for a woman in a bathing suit with a parasol. Then make it from the perspective of an opposing chess piece. Yeah, those should all come together nicely.

Excellent! Thanks to Richard!

(Average: 8.10 out of 10)

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NoiselessPenguin comments: Nothing says ‘vampire’ better than tomato ketchup squirted onto an ugly grey wall.

Wow… Thanks to NoiselessPenguin!

(Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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Don’s Art Direction: Decapitated heads on strings gazing soulfully at each other while their occipital regions morph into Wookiees. Oh, and guess you’d better put some flying saucers in there, since they’re in the title of this 1930s pulp novella that we’re trying to pass off as a modern 1970s novel.

Freaky. Thanks to Don!

(Average: 8.48 out of 10)

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Phil’s Art Direction: That’s the Bradbury story about an android grandmother, isn’t it? A sweet, family tale? Right, so let’s have either a muscle man or a horse on the cover. Better yet, a muscle man who IS a horse. And so ripped, that even his muscles have muscle men on them. On a wraparound cover.
Published in 1972

Outstanding! Good Show Phil!

(Average: 9.25 out of 10)

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