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Sep 30

Number 1 of a Series ... if anyone buys itClick for larger image

Kilgore Comments: You would think Frazetta would know how to paint feet.

Published 1968

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.75 out of 10)
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Aug 29

From the GSS Slack Channel:

Tweet Jane: Where did you guys disappear to? I had to get the cleaning lady to let me in the locked offices.

GSS Admin: Sorry, I’ve been on August holiday. I’ve always promised myself a month in Bangkok.

Tweet Jane: August holiday? You haven’t returned from last August’s holiday. Your voice mail and mailbox are full.

GSS Admin: Gotta run. The cabana boy is bringing over the cocktails.

Tag Wizard: Sorry, but I’ve, uh, been detained. It’s all a misunderstanding. My solicitor will have it all straightened out in no time at all!

Tweet Jane: Well what about the 2000th Post? We were planning to a have a contest, and prizes, and a big month-long rollout.

Tag Wizard: Oh yeah. Slipped my mind. Go into the submission form and see what’s laying around. Something with nice pair of jubblies is always a hit. The password is on a post-it note somewhere on my desk.

Tweet Jane: And I’m taking all the petty cash. You haven’t paid me in two months.

Univers 06

Samurai Ob/GynClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: “What to Expect When You’re Expecting: Rosemary’s Baby Edition”

Thanks again to Alain for the J’ai Lu’s!

Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.00 out of 10)
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Aug 21

SWOTHERDS TRILOGY?Click for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: “Please move your hand away from there…no, that’s not okay either. May I borrow your sword for a moment?”

You might remember this from here.

Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Jul 03

Atomic WedgieClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: She’s the green sheened queen of the scene.

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.75 out of 10)
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May 06

Fast and Furious 13: Jason Statham and the StargonautsClick for larger image

Outis Comments: This one truly has it all. Car-like, no-roof spaceship? Check. Chrome trim? Check. Scantily clad dame? Check. Dramatic posing? Check. Drinking on the job? Check. Gratuitous discharging of beam weapons? Check. And lastly: William Gibson recommendation? It’s there.

Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.70 out of 10)
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Apr 03

They seem niceClick for larger image

Raoul Comments: My high-school Latin tells me this title is “Fat Morgan”. Must be that guy on the left.

Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.78 out of 10)
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Feb 07

It’s time for Mars Sexytime Honourable Mentions. And it’s a score in more ways than one. Scraping the bottom of the Mars barrel, here are three also-rans that, for various reasons, didn’t meet our STRICT AND RIGIDLY ENFORCED GROUND RULES.

Sex Life on the Planet Mars. I can’t find much info on whether this is comedy, sci-fi or maybe even a mystery. But I’m not surprised it’s written by this guy. Somewhere Capt Kirk is getting a boner.

Puts the Martian in M.I.L.F.Click for larger image

A Princess of Mars. Further proof of the benefits of novels losing their copyright and entering the public domain. This is an actual by-the-rules science fiction book cover, but it’s print-on-demand and I didn’t feel like spending a tenner of Tag Wizard’s expense account money to buy a copy.

A Poledancer of MarsClick for larger image

Mars Ho! It’s a Kindle ebook cover. I think it’s also paperback but, since nobody is in a hurry to send that cover in, this will just have to do.

Let's throw a hoedown!Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Thanks to Cyndi-with-an-i, me, and Sir Douglas Quintet for sending these in.

Published 1986, 2008, and 2017

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.08 out of 10)
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Sep 11

Mars has two moons. Checks out.Click for larger image

Surface of Venus is super hot. Checks out.Click for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday: NEL – ERB – WTF!

Good Show Sir Comments: Synthetic Men Are from Mars, Synthetic Boobs Are from Venus

Published 1972

Thanks to Lulu for sending one in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.82 out of 10)
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Feb 19

Bibliomancer went to Greece and GSS didn’t even get a lousy tau-shirt. But we did get a bunch of terrible Greek book covers. I’ll turn this post (and week) over to him:

I come from Greece bearing gifts! So don’t look a Trojan Horse in the mouth. Athens has a big chain store called “Public” which is a combination of  Barnes & Noble and  Best Buy with a whole large floor of new books in Greek and English. Athens also have a few “charming” used book stores in some of the older neighborhoods. Here’s the inside view of one of them:

View of the headless Greek bookseller

So here are some terrible covers, Greek-style. Sorry, but we will have to skip the authors, cover artists and publication dates. Be kind to Tag Wizard:

Do surfers dream of aquatic sheep?Click for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments:

1. Rising sea levels were not kind to Venice.

 

Browsing Tinder on MarsClick for larger image

2. Who knew Ghandi collected Barbies?

 

Squawk!Click for larger image

3. Black Hawk up, Black Hawk down!

 

I assume Jeremy Cherfas is on the rightClick for larger image

4. Ce n’est pas un primate.

 

Is that you, Grandpa Munster?Click for larger image

5. Dracula in the language Prince Vlad would have understood.

 

Published whenever

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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Aug 10

They had forgotten how bras were supposed to workClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: They had forgotten what makeup looked like.

Published 1958

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.05 out of 10)
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