Aug 27
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Right, we’re in a recession, we need a cover that sells! Hmm, all black cover? You, sir, are fired! We need exploding cities in the midst of being attacked. A woman in a yellow and black striped catsuit, no wait… an alien woman! She can be holding a dagger while she peers into the foreground, completely ignoring the chaos behind her. If that doesn’t sell I’ll jump right out that window.

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Tagged with: aliens • author in the comments • bladed weapons • casually walking away from an explosion • catsuit • clouds • daggers • damsel • DAW Books • Edward Willett • explosion • gibberish title • planets • space ships • Steve Stone
Aug 25
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Hey! You there beside the water cooler. What books you into these days? Narina? Narninia? Fine, let’s say a lion. And you with the coffee, what do you like? Chicks with swords. Awesome, slap them both on there. Best lens flare the hell out of the background though. I think we need something to grab people’s attention!

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Tagged with: Ace Books • bladed weapons • Chad Michael Ward • city • damsel • glow • glowing eyes • Ilona Andrews • Kate Daniels series • lion • magic • once you see it • strange creature • sword
Aug 18
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Pictures cannot describe the shine I want on this cover. Eyes will turn and minds will be altered. I want… NO… I need a guy floating in the air in the ol’ Jesus cross pose having left behind a dimensional portal. Have some dude popping out only to find a sexy women in knee highs and a tight leather dress. It’s just like those magic shows……

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Tagged with: Alan Pollack • anatomical issues • Baen Books • Chris Dolley • cleavage • damsel • magic • neo-jesus
Aug 14
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You know what people are into these days… dressing up like strange animal creatures. So put a couple of people talking to some weird bunny person.. just like the convention we were at last week! Except less of the, you know, horrible single 45 year old men looking for sex. Take away from that with a huge space ship in the sky with the author’s name printed in horrible fonts.

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Tagged with: anthropomorphism • Baen Books • damsel • epic thoughts • font problems • Future History series • omnibus • once you see it • Patrick Turner • Robert A. Heinlein • space ships • strange creature
Aug 11
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Well I want a red headed women talking to a camp looking dragon while she shows a bit of leg. Andre.. stop laughing! It’s not like your covers are any better! Jeeeezz… Ah F it.. just put a well built guy laughing his ass off in the background. That can be you Andre…you knob.

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Tagged with: Andre Norton • damsel • dragon • dude • Halfblood Chronicles series • Julie Bell • Mercedes Lackey • once you see it • Tor Books • waistcoat
Aug 04
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You know the two things I love: big bosomed women and lizards. Have them woven in an epic battle, lizard versus women as she tries to slice at it with her magical blade. Don’t go all crazy on me though, concentrate on the boobs.

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Tagged with: Baen Books • bladed weapons • cleavage • damsel • dragon • fire • John Lambshead • lizard • lizard people • magical weapon • sword
May 06
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An alien planet, with vegetation and all that, and another huge other planet in the background. And throw in a huge space ship taking off with a person throwing her fist in the air, making the reader ponder, “is she covering her eyes or simply shouting complaints?”

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Tagged with: +1 Protection from Spelling • Alexis Glynn Latner • aliens • Brian Dow • cloaks • damsel • once you see it • Pyr Books • space ships
May 05
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Remember Arthurian legend where the magical pixies danced around Excalibur while some young redheaded wench reached out to grab the sword from a ghostly but awesome beard-wielding king? No? Well, that’s what I want, and you’re not getting out of those damn chains till you draw it!!!

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Tagged with: Arthurian legend • beard-wielding • bladed weapons • damsel • DAW Books • embossing • fairies • Gordon Crabb • Irene Radford • Merlin's Descendants series • once you see it • sword
Apr 08
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Typical blonde helpless maiden, possibly a wench from the local drinkery. Then a typical bartender looking guy with perm, a wooden magic wand, a glowing wrist band and a red misty entity coming from the side. Come on… do I have to think of everything?!?!

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Tagged with: Ace Books • damsel • Deborah Chester • embossing • Haircut 100 • magic • Michael Herring • shiny • Sword the Ring and the Chalice series • wand
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