preload
Jan 21

The Western Wizard (vs The Western Wizard)

28 Comments »

I'll just put this Z&A here... there we go! See, it spells wizard!Click for full image

Tally ho! Well good chap I’ll have the one with swords and those smashing old wizards praising a big wolf in the clouds!
Published 2000

Hold on, we'll save the princess in a bit. I have a chance to look... awesome!Click for full image

Good show old bean, I’ll go for the one with double swords, a buxom beauty and a mighty cape. Spiffing!
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.33 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Jul 28

Wizardborn

13 Comments »

Unicorns are just more comfortable to ride than horses. Plus the chicks love it.Click for full image

Anders Art Direction: A pack of profoundly stoned giant proboscis monkeys in a garden! Nails in his nostrils! Both of them! Wha’? The cover? Knights and princesses and shit. You know, the usual.
Published 2002

Many thanks to Ander!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.34 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Jul 05

The Farthest Seeking

36 Comments »

HORSE KAT TRANZPORTS HOOMAN 2 CASTLE.Click for full image

Liz’s Art Direction: We’d like for you to use some cats on this cover. Not just any old cats no, we want one that is sized up enough to be able to carry a human. In furs. And randomly in the background, give us a horse drawn sled too. Oh, and to illuminate the picture, throw in a random lamp somewhere…and the biggest sickle moon in the world, ever.
Published 2000

Ah Cat travel, the only way to break the speed of light. Or so I have read.
Many thanks to Liz!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.63 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

May 11

The Time of Madness

16 Comments »

GAH, there's hardly enough room in this border for an evil ork to swing his arms!Click for full image

Eron comments: This cover isn’t really funny. The art isn’t even particularly bad. But a warning to anyone who has ever even had the passing notion to take a graphic design class: do not look at this cover, you will get a rage-migrane for days. The layout is so shockingly poor and amateur that the thought that someone got paid for this, not beaten in a alley, just plain makes me want to drink whiskey and punch random objects!

My eyes…my eyes! Thanks to Eron!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.83 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Apr 30

Honourable Mentions 4

20 Comments »

Well it’s reached that time again were here in the UK we are blessed with bank holidays! So for those like myself who will be relaxing with an extra long weekend, here are some honourable mentions.

These covers break our explicit and hard kept rules, which are enforced with an iron fist. These are part of a franchise (this time of adventure choice novels), but nonetheless each of them sports an excellent cover so I hope you enjoy them.

Also just to say thanks to everyone who has been sending me in covers! We’ll slowly get through them all so keep an eye out and I promise they will appear at some stage.

Have a great weekend for those benefiting from it!

To face the evil rabbit turn to page 8
To run away turn to page 57

Before I kill you could you lift me onto my horse? This armour is pretty heavy.Click for full image

No seriously, green, completely makes you look more menacing.. hahahahahaHA!Click for full image

My robo crotch is exploding!Click for full image

They are the most evil triangle cuff-links I have ever seen.Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.27 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Mar 22

Lightning’s Daughter

27 Comments »

Why are we out here my faithful steed? To be struck by lightning of course!Click for full image

Women love their horses and I’m pretty sure everyone grows up wanting that pony all their life. So that’s what we’ll give ’em. Except give the horse a certain quality, an almost surprised expression as he stares off into the vast distance. And give the L&D letters of the title a black fill. I can’t see that one back-firing.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.67 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Feb 22

Daughter of the Blood

17 Comments »

Couldn't you just put it in a bag or something?Click for full image

Well any piece of art such as a women sitting on her horse, in the middle of the wood, summoning a huge glowing chalice, just isn’t complete with out a huge boarder. It’s like you’ll be staring in through a window into a magical world.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.50 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • •

Feb 16

The Tangle Box

23 Comments »

WOW! All that moss sure knows where to cling to.Click for full image

Like a baseball bat to the face, we’ll hit our viewers with something special. A large forest women with rams horns and red curly hair. Perfect? Not quite. She’ll be wading her way through a swamp with another considerably smaller green tinted female watching. Now we’re perfect.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.32 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • •

Dec 25

Oath Of Swords

19 Comments »

He's a faithful lute player, even though all he knows is Stairway to Heaven.Click for full image

And it thus cameto passthat the Mighty Lord Weber created the one thing which could instantly bring tears to the eyes of mortal men. Together around the campfire elves sat covered in blankets, drinking mead, talking to their wenches andwieldeda singlelute. But most importantly and what would soon become legend,they hadridiculous ears.

Hope you have a wonderful Christmas Day!

–
Good Show sir

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.24 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Dec 16

The Warrior King

11 Comments »

Leave this place, or I shall show you my genitals sir.Click for full image

Look, all I am saying is what good is a ‘warrior king’ unless he is the size of a building? A big building! If I was on a horse and in front of me was a massive magical warrior, glowing in the morning sun… Man, I’d run away back home and hide under my bed covers. That’s why we need this, we need it.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.24 out of 10)
Loading...

Tagged with: • • • • • • • • • • • • • •