Good Show Sir - Only the worst Sci-fi/Fantasy book covers

Apr 12

Basilisk

Basil is Kray Click for larger image

Bellatrix Comments: Cool it Xena! It’s just a joke. You’re not going to report me to H.R., are you?
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 5.95 out of 10)

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Tagged with: Ace Books • BEHIND YOU! • bladed weapons • capes • cleavage • damsel • Ellen Kushner • font problems • hunkbutt • jazz hands • Joan D. Vinge • loincloth • Michael Bishop • people with tails • R.A. Lafferty • Rowena Morrill • semi-transparent • starkers • Unicorns! • Ursula K. Le Guin • WTF

Mar 08

The Adventure of the Peerless Peer

Look at these dead gazelles. I surmise this is the work of the Ripper! Click for larger image

Alice Comments: Where’s Cheetah? The Doctor Watson of the Jungle.

Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 7.40 out of 10)

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Tagged with: aeroplanes • BEHIND YOU! • Dell Books • dude • font problems • knife • Led Zeppelin • loincloth • magnifying glass • muscles • No shit Sherlock • Philip José Farmer • sixpack abs • Tar-sham • tasteful smoke • Victor Gadino

Jan 15

The Saga of Cuckoo

Click for larger image

Tom Luczycki’s Art Direction: I need a guy astride a giant walking fish-thing accompanied by a metallic angel with nippless bazooms. Could you have the guy holding an impossibly small and ineffective bow? Forget about the arrows. The bow is more a symbol for the subtext of the underlying metaphor. And moths. The moths should round things out nicely.

Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 6.42 out of 10)

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Tagged with: butterfly • devil's dumplings • dude • Frederik Pohl • Jack Williamson • Kevin Johnson • lizard • loincloth • Nelson Doubleday SFBC • statue • wings

Jan 08

Lord of the Trees

Lord Gaystroke Click for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: “No puppet. No puppet. You’re the puppet!”

Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 7.20 out of 10)

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Tagged with: Ace Books • anatomical issues • dude • font problems • Gray Morrow • loincloth • muscles • Philip José Farmer • sixpack abs • Tar-sham • tree people • weird pecs

Oct 04

En el Centro de la Tierra

JurASSic Park Click to embiggen

Good Show Sir Comments: Baby got Back … to the Stone Age!

Published 2003

Thanks to Jorge for sending this in!

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 6.25 out of 10)

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Tagged with: damsel • Edgar Rice Burroughs • loincloth • Rio Henares • Sir Mix-A-Lot • surprised dinosaur • Unknown Artist Institute

Oct 03

French Tarzan

'Tarzan's Jungle Dance' Click for full image

Bad Cheetah! You can't have your BB-gun back! Click for full image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – French Tarzan Edition

Good Show Sir Comments:

#1. No need for Space Sheep. It’s French!

#2. Batsman of the Jungle

Published 1986, 1987

Thanks to Alain for sending these in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 7.71 out of 10)

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • dude • Edgar Rice Burroughs • French • loincloth • Néo • Nicollet • rifle • Tar-sham • Tarzan Series • two-fer • weird pecs

Aug 24

Conan the Unconquered

Faces are so hard to paint Click for larger image

Alice Comments: “The sewer’s backed up again. Let me clean up this mess before we do our virgin sacrifice!

Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 6.58 out of 10)

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Tagged with: anatomical issues • bladed weapons • booties • chains • cleavage • Conan series • damsel • dude • font problems • glow • human sacrifice • loincloth • long haired men • monsters • muscles • non-papillial person • Robert Jordan • Ron Walotsky • tentacles • Tor Books • weird pecs

Jul 20

Transit

Sorry to offend but didn't have tiny-enough space sheep Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: I think Emsh took “Castaways in space …” a bit too literally.

Published 1964

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 5.65 out of 10)

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Tagged with: balls • damsel • devil's dumplings • dude • Ed Emshwiller • Edmund Cooper • fire • knife • Lancer Science Fiction • little people • loincloth • moon • space • spear • starkers • tiny ting!

Jun 29

The Warrior Enchained

A Faux-nan painted by a Faux-frazetta Click for full image

Bibliomancer Comments: That appears to be a right hand attached to a left arm coming through the wall.

Published 1983

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 6.09 out of 10)

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Tagged with: chains • claws • damsel • dude • Faux-nan • loincloth • muscles • Sharon Green • Sir Mix-A-Lot • Star Books • starkers • strange creature • Unknown Artist Institute

Jun 13

Tomorrow and Tomorrow

The Strange Cult of the Straw Boater Click for full image

Keep on Truckin' Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: It’s a Two-Fer Tuesday – Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow Edition!

#1 No Shoes, No Shirt … No Problem!

#2 Your boyfriend needs to wash his hands first.

Published 1956 and 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 6.17 out of 10)

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Tagged with: big hair • Bob Lavin • Bob Pepper • busy hands • catsuit • cleavage • damsel • devil's dumplings • dude • font problems • Hunt Collins • loincloth • muscles • Pyramid Books • straw boater hat • topless • two-fer

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