Good Show Sir

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Phil Comments: I may be skewered and chained inside this crystalline tesseract, but at least I’ve got the TV for company. A shame it’s…pressing…down…on my…chest…
Published 2012

(Average: 8.73 out of 10)

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Collette’s Art Direction: I envision floating elderly embryos, spaceships, and armed jungle animals before a crimson sky! Hmm… maybe we should put that in a small box on the cover, because now that I say it out loud, it sounds kind of crazy.
Published 1971

(Average: 8.72 out of 10)

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Scott’s Art Direction: I was drinking fairly heavily when I read, “The E.S.P. Worm” but I’m pretty sure it was about an estranged pair of anthropomorphic sticks of chalk, plus a bespectacled penis, I mean “worm”, lassoing the Earth with its magic rainbow powers. So put that on the cover!
Published 1970

(Average: 8.68 out of 10)

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Craig Comments: Ultimate because they can’t smell you apparently.
Published 1990

Many thanks to Craig!

(Average: 8.73 out of 10)

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(Average: 8.10 out of 10)

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Scott B’s Art DIrection: This cover should have an infinitude of nude plastic women with RAF eyes. Because I said so.
Published 1971

(Average: 8.74 out of 10)

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Published 1972

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Published 1980

Whitney Comments: I’m sending in two different covers of the same book. They are both wretched.

(Average: 8.51 out of 10)

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Don’s Art Direction: I want a seriously bronzed (think gallons of Man-Tan) hero on a gryphonish thing with wings growing out of his butt.
Published 1982

(Average: 8.51 out of 10)

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Corwin Comments: Where to start… A truly wretched color scheme with a bright pink neon title, two title fonts that go in four different directions. Then the rest of the cover is way too busy including a blue shark, a green sub with pink polka dots, and a man hole cover. And lest we forget, the story has a computerized Ayn Rand as one of its characters.
Published 1998

Flying shark!
Many thanks to Corwin.

(Average: 8.65 out of 10)

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A kids’ book? Well you know what kids love: FONTS, terrible fonts – gold outline! Give me: people animals… that’s right, I want a man weasel, man mouse, man rabbit and man mole all on there. Uh, best not make it too cutesy though, give the weasel a bow and arrow.

(Average: 4.14 out of 10)

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