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Jul 15

Centaur's really do hate Strawberry Blondes!Click for full image

Art Direction: Well with the name Alpha Centauri our cover is basically spelt out for us… Centaur taking a point blank shot at a red headed girl straight out of Sunday school while she rides a horse. Make sure to make her jumper a timeless classic, something you could look back at in a hundred years and say… that never went out of fashion.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.76 out of 10)
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Jul 12

As proven in Teen Wolf, people with fur just love to party!Click for full image

MisterBob Comments: Words fail me!
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.39 out of 10)
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Jul 11

Somone's been on the Tesco own-brand bourbon again!Click for full SHOCKINGLY INDECENT image

Jon Comments: I know those Moorcock/Mayflower covers are like shooting fish in a barrel, but I needed something to go with my chips. I actually got the man himself to sign my copy recently and I told him I felt the film version was underrated. He agreed with me, with the minor change of “under” to “over”. Seemed a nice bloke, though.
Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.58 out of 10)
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Jun 30

Ah to roll around in treasure while touching my nipples... a god's life!Click for full image

Dorian’s Art Direction: What do you mean, there are no scantily clad women in the story? No werewolf? No heaps of treasure? No weird monster consisting entirely of teeth and wings? Ah, who cares? No-one ever looks at these things anyway.
Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.56 out of 10)
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Jun 29

Damn this magical nakedness. No need for the censor sheep yet again!

Joachim Comments: Girl with strategically placed stars (of course). Chola eyebrows and bleached blonde hair with walking shark with gill piercing/oops, I mean a chain-leash…. And she has claws of course — see, the cover is derived entirely from the TITLE!
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.18 out of 10)
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Jun 27

The Warriors! Coming to a local leisure centre near you!Click for full image

Art Direction: The real question is, what can’t we put on the cover? I want everything, a dragon, a muscle bound man in tights, a wizard and even a dwarf. Oh and the standard 80’s teenager thrown into a world they don’t understand but slowly come to love. All emerging from a fine mist.
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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Jun 24

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Wait no... it's sci-fi...

SteveAsat Comments: A thrilling last-minute escape from the Queens of Mercury! “Can you do the fandango? Then you shall DIE, Earthman!”
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.31 out of 10)
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Jun 20

RIGHT! Who brought me back after 500,000 years without a penis! WHO!?!Click for full image

Ian Comments: Reach for your gun! A man wearing nothing but a couple of spangly lights has just materialised and is scaring the women!
Published 1966

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.06 out of 10)
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Jun 14

You may be in a protective bubble, but it doesn't mean you can't see me get naked!Click for full (newly unchewed) image

E Comments: According to my husband, his dog chewed up the cover of this book. I think the dog was making a statement. Like why the hell are those people sitting in a hollowed-out asteroid?
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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Jun 07

Does that boat have wings?Click for full image

Phil Comments: Why John, you are so odd that I must hide behind these conveniently positioned but otherwise random spikes. But at least you’ve noticed me, which makes you not quite as odd as you used to be back in the days of: Odd John.


Published 1959

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.22 out of 10)
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