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Sep 02

If that dam bird touches my thumb again... I swear...Click for full image

Science fiction is mainly read by what gender? Males! Exactly! So therefore we should have a big hunk of a long haired lumberjack man, topless, showing off his muscles and tugging on his rope. Don’t forget to add a bird in there! If ya know what I mean, nod nod wink wink!

Thanks so much to Chris R!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.54 out of 10)
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Aug 17

My gun is so powerful I blow away cities...Click for full image

OK! Get ready ’cause here comes the cover train and we’re about to jump right on it! One, a hunky topless man holding his huge gun. Two, a post-apocalyptic scene in the background. Three, the author’s name in terrible fonts and way larger than the actual book title. Four, did I mention muscles…mmm, MMM! Wooo woo all aboard!!!!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.32 out of 10)
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Aug 11

God Shella, you told that guy about my small girth didn't you!?Click for full image

Well I want a red headed women talking to a camp looking dragon while she shows a bit of leg. Andre.. stop laughing! It’s not like your covers are any better! Jeeeezz… Ah F it.. just put a well built guy laughing his ass off in the background. That can be you Andre…you knob.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.02 out of 10)
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Aug 10

So I like, football, drinking with friends, working out... and killing...Click for full image

As a women I know that there are two main things we love about men. Long hair with hunky muscles being one of them, *drool*, and the ability to fire a light weight fast action submachine gun at any given point. What’s that you say – this book’s in the Fantasy genre? Oh yeah, forgot that element… uhhh ok then, lens flare the gun and put some transparent eyes in the sky. Now that’s what I call Fantasy Romance!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.91 out of 10)
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Aug 07

Shifting between worlds to get a hooker! ohhhh Yeaaa..God I love my powersClick for full image

Some artists define a generation: Picasso, Michelangelo, Paul Klee… I want you to be inspired by their works and create something for me. Think of these things: hookers, cats, bats, stereotype vampires, a real man with long cheesy hair holding his long sword. And to make it art, we place them all…. between worlds! Together, my friend, we will define the next generation!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.45 out of 10)
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Aug 03

I call this pose The Dragon.Click for full image

I’m telling you, Romance + Generic Fantasy Elements = MONEY! Ahh, who cares about the cover, just put a big hunky man showing off his chest muscles and flexed abs. We’ll call him the dragon master… What do you mean “is his dragon purple”?

And we are back! Ohhhh YEAh!
– Good Show Sir

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.42 out of 10)
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May 26

My god... You're loincloth hides nothing... just kill me already...Click for full image

A huge hunky man with bulging muscles and a loincloth that just about covers his ass with a sword symbolically hanging down from it. Oh and have him holding a huge spear with his taught sweaty arms.Wait – better make this a little less fabulous – add in a dragon that he might be about to kill… or seduce….

Thanks to CSA!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.73 out of 10)
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Apr 29

All this time we've been flying I've been wondering one thing.  Why don't you wear more than a loin cloth?Click for full image

Picture this – A well built guy (and I mean Muscles From Brussels material) showing off his golden helmet, wearing his skimpy purple briefs, holding a long hard wooden spear… and riding on top of his large pink dragon. What do you mean that’s what the Internet is for?

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.88 out of 10)
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Apr 17

This university is awesome... I'm so happy to be studying accounting here!Click for full image

Heard of the glow effect in photoshop? Good, ’cause I want it! Place it around a guy who looks like he has just come out of his chemistry class… but instead of being in school, have him standing on a planet in space with a HUGE glowing moon in the background!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.22 out of 10)
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Mar 19

Didn't you think to mention you could cast fireballs?
Art direction: I have two words for you: Magic Fireball! Have some leather clad guy holding an old school hunting rife casting it. Just make sure that the fireball is purple! Magic is purple…. right?

Thanks to CSA!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.33 out of 10)
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