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Jun 11

And so, the children avoided being eaten by a dragon... through magical interpretive dance!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Gym class will never be the same again!
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.46 out of 10)
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Mar 27

That's Mr Tomorrow! He usually lives in the park drinking bottles of cheap cider!Click for slightly larger image

Joachim Comments: The sci-fi cover equivalent of any of Edward Wood Jr.’s B-movies — a stock photo combined with a child’s drawing of a muscleman in a loin cloth.
Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Feb 26

This is what happens when you press the red button on your treadmill!Click for full image

Ethan Comments: I just finished raiding my book shelf and I unearthed some truly wretched book covers.
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.97 out of 10)
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Mar 19

I pick this women! Her body is 3/4 legs!Click for full image

Colette’s Art Direction: We need to convey a Utopian future, so nothing represents that better than a pastel circuit-board Lego city with buildings encased in test tubes. Add a happy gorilla-headed torso man carrying a life-like unitard-wearing sex doll. Ooh, and lasers! And… and shoulder pads!
Published 1982
Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.94 out of 10)
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Mar 24

Afros need protected in deep space. Skin? Ah who cares!?!Click for full image

Miggity’s Art Direction: Shirtless black dude in tighty whities with a space helmet and a pneumatic fishing spear gun, flanked by two white Amazonian women in see through tops giving the whole thing a weird sex vibe, with a spacecraft carrier, space figthers, four planets and sweet moon base in the foreground… PERFECT!
Published 1981

Many thanks to Miggity!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.79 out of 10)
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Sep 02

Damn it, who took everyones underwear again?Click for full image

I had a dream last night, and well… I think we should place rows and rows of naked women looking like they are washing dishes. So if we place that on the front with a fully clothed dude walking by them all, we’re keeping every gender happy. Right?

Thanks so much to Chris R!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.06 out of 10)
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Mar 11

Notice the Pretender?

Art direction: So let’s have one guy, all white, in the middle of a group of (let’s say) some “darker coloured” elves. Have one of them looking at him very carefully pondering the question, “Is he the pretender?”

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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