Apr 01
And now for the real cover:
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You might remember seeing this previously on Good Show Sir: Sunrunner’s Fire
Stutzman comments: So here is the Australia cover for that very same book (found in a used bookstore in the US), which is hideous beyond words. Same general elements: dragon, wizardly dude in robes, rocks. The execution, however… oh, my eyes.
Thanks very much to Stutzman!

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Tagged with: dragon • Dragon Prince Trilogy • fingerbeams • magic • magical weapon • Melanie Rawn • once you see it • pouch • skeletons • skulls a-poppin' • The Epic Dragon Prince Series • Unknown Artist Institute • unknown publisher • Wizaaaaaaaard!
Mar 31
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NoiselessPenguin Comments: I tried to make a list of what’s wrong with this cover, and stopped when I realised: EVERYTHING.
Thanks to NoiselessPenguin, I’ve never laughed so much!

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Tagged with: anatomical issues • Ballantine Books • beard-wielding • beast-riding • Darrell K. Sweet • Dave Duncan • dude • Good Show Sir • longbow • muscles • whale
Mar 30
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Tamsym comments: Found in a charity shop on the Isle of Wight, I’ve been looking for a home for this baby for six months. It’s got all the hallmarks of a classic: nipples – check; vacuous expression – check; absolutely no relevance to the title – check.
I’m not saying ghosts can’t be gay, mind. But you have to wonder about the plot arc, eh?
Thanks so much to Tamsyn!

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Tagged with: cleavage • damsel • font problems • Jonathan Quayne • Sphere Books • Unknown Artist Institute • WTF
Mar 29
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Rex’s Art Direction: Okay, gaudy covers are out, minimalism is in! So let’s see, what shall we put on this cover… a fish! Yes, a fish, that’s right, I’m sure they live in forests, right?
Thanks to Albertosaurus Rex!

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Tagged with: HarperCollins Books • magic • Megan Lindholm • Robin Hobb • shiny oh so shiny • strange creature • The Soldier Son Trilogy • Unknown Artist Institute
Mar 26
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Black in Time? Seriously? Alright then. Well I think we should artistically avoid the whole race issue and simply have a huge group of people from every background floating mid space stretching backwards into the earth. And some faces of the main characters, with an hour glass imposed on them. Somehow though, I think it’s not going to take away from the title.
Thanks to the Legend Dave R!

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Tagged with: floating head • Good Show Sir • John Jakes • planets • racism • WTF
Mar 25
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What if we go for something that’s kind of a cross between art and an eighties music video? We’ll have flaming eye balls and some women with retro make-up playing with her magical sticks. Then just pack any text at the top and if we can, make it like an ancient scroll banner. Classy.

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Tagged with: Ace Books • BEHIND YOU! • damsel • dude • eye-yi-yi • fire • font problems • Gary Ruddell • Janet Morris • magic • once you see it • scrolls • Thieves' World series
Mar 24
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So I just read from the list on this sheet? Alright then, terrible fonts, realistic guys doing manly stuff and pulling awkward faces, and a futuristic city. Might I add something of my own? Why don’t we credit only the editors and none of the authors? …You’re promoting me to management?! OHHH yeaaah!

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Tagged with: Baen Books • Brendan Dubois • Brian Stableford • David Mattingly • Dena Bain Taylor • dude • Geoffrey Landis • Gregory Benford • gun • James Cobb • Joe Haldeman • Kristine Katherine Rusch • L.E. Modesitt Jr. • Mark L. Van Name • Martin H. Greenberg • Michael Burstein • Michael Z. Williamson • Paul J. McAuley • war • William H. Keith
Mar 23
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Chess? I’m sure that’s interesting and all but that gives me nothing to work with. No wait.. it does. Pink! Pink everything up, go for the windowed look, and make sure there are lots of things blurred slightly by the light. Maybe they’ll miss out on the chess part completely!

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Tagged with: Arthurian legend • boring • castle • chess • damsel • dude • Futura Publications • Sharan Newman • shields • Unknown Artist Institute
Mar 22
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Women love their horses and I’m pretty sure everyone grows up wanting that pony all their life. So that’s what we’ll give ’em. Except give the horse a certain quality, an almost surprised expression as he stares off into the vast distance. And give the L&D letters of the title a black fill. I can’t see that one back-firing.

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • bracers • cloaks • damsel • Dark Horse series • font problems • forest • Fred Fields • glowing eyes • horses • horses with hairstyles • Mary H. Herbert • once you see it • sword • TSR Books
Mar 19
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Look, I am busy – what the hell do you want? Cover ideas? My god, man. You’re new here, right? Here’s the sheet, it has everything we need. Huge terrible multicoloured fonts, obligatory best selling author line and something like a women in a space suit looking generally awful. Don’t worry kid, you’ll pick it up soon enough. Then you’ll be one with us. Don’t run… don’t run…

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Tagged with: Baen Books • Bob Eggleton • bubble helmet • damsel • David Weber • font problems • planets • shuriken of approval • space • space ships
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