Good Show Sir

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John Comments: There isn’t a joke I could make that would trump the description on the back – “The wife of a powerful figure in CA is found brutally murdered in the couple’s lonely mountain retreat. Wesley Stoneham made certain that all the evidence concerning the murderer of his wife pointed to a nearby hippie community. He had 3 goals in mind: to get rid of his wife, to drive out the hippie commune, and to enhance his own power in the state. He was at the point of achieving them all when Garnna, from the peaceful planet of Zartic finally made contact with Debby, a hippie from the commune, who had problems of her own. Then, Stoneham’s troubles began.” OF COURSE I BOUGHT THIS RIGHT AWAY!
Published 1975

Many thanks to John!

(Average: 8.48 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Kinda like those raunchy romance book covers with real people. Expect with a magical dragon and a hunky wizard waving around his magical staff. Who wouldn’t want to sleep with a guy who dresses like a wizard? Actually… good point… make sure to hire a model.
Published 2003

(Average: 4.84 out of 10)

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Kevin’s Art Direction
Creative Director: Ok, so here’s the deal.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: I want hands coming up from the fires of hell begging for tiny people, a big throne or something and possibly some random Greek god-type things laughing it up.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: The boss just saw Iron Eagle and totally dug the font on that one. OH! And he just bought a new helicopter, so if you could throw that in everything will be great.
Published 1987

Amazing find!
Many thanks to Kevin!

(Average: 7.91 out of 10)

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Corwin Comments: Where to start… A truly wretched color scheme with a bright pink neon title, two title fonts that go in four different directions. Then the rest of the cover is way too busy including a blue shark, a green sub with pink polka dots, and a man hole cover. And lest we forget, the story has a computerized Ayn Rand as one of its characters.
Published 1998

Flying shark!
Many thanks to Corwin.

(Average: 8.66 out of 10)

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Andy Comments: The art department obviously wanted to cram as much as possible in (even though this is apparently the second novel in a trilogy). I wouldn’t be surprised however if it was an image ripped from the text. I really like the bloke standing on the ear of dragon – it seems to go well with the tag line. The spaceship is supposed to be vivid purple (the first line of the book) but is obviously out-done in the purple stakes by the dragon.
Published 1995

Ah the days of… yellow jeans…
Many thanks to Andy!

(Average: 6.26 out of 10)

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What if we go for something that’s kind of a cross between art and an eighties music video? We’ll have flaming eye balls and some women with retro make-up playing with her magical sticks. Then just pack any text at the top and if we can, make it like an ancient scroll banner. Classy.

(Average: 8.02 out of 10)

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A naked man wrestles a lion man – who is wearing a speedo I should point out – on top of a mound of fire. Yes, I did just say that out loud. And I want a huge snake in there, with a collar. And I do mean snake, that’s not a euphemism, but then again nothing to stop us from putting some ass on there too.

(Average: 8.62 out of 10)

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I’ve been on that Good Show Sir site and I know everything at the moment is about nipples! Here my friend we will defy convention. Cleavage but no nipples. Also, she’ll be kinda silver, jumping out of awful looking flames towards a star. Oh yeahhh, consider that convention defied!

(Average: 6.52 out of 10)

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And it thus cameto passthat the Mighty Lord Weber created the one thing which could instantly bring tears to the eyes of mortal men. Together around the campfire elves sat covered in blankets, drinking mead, talking to their wenches andwieldeda singlelute. But most importantly and what would soon become legend,they hadridiculous ears.

Hope you have a wonderful Christmas Day!

–
Good Show sir

(Average: 8.24 out of 10)

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Look, all I am saying is what good is a ‘warrior king’ unless he is the size of a building? A big building! If I was on a horse and in front of me was a massive magical warrior, glowing in the morning sun… Man, I’d run away back home and hide under my bed covers. That’s why we need this, we need it.

(Average: 5.24 out of 10)

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