Good Show Sir

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Jimmie Comments: MOON
ZERO
TOO
Many Authors, not a good sign
Oh god, it’s a novelization
of a screenplay of a story idea
written on cocktail napkin

And it’s a HAMMER FILM
rated Moon Zero Stars

Published 1969

(Average: 7.38 out of 10)

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Jen Comments: A warlock and his robotic horse battle a carnivorous tree who collects stuffed animals and leprechauns, while farting evil smoke into the mouth of a nearby menacing castle. Meanwhile, a knight and his lady ride past, oblivious. Sadly, a surprisingly accurate depiction of the book. And yes, I paid $5 for it.

Insane thanks to Jen!

(Average: 7.37 out of 10)

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Tom Noir Comments: Sick of the cheesy, over-wrought covers being inflicted on her books by artists, Mercedes Lackey hires a photographer.
Published 2009

(Average: 7.37 out of 10)

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Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: Gentlemen…perhaps what this cover needs is both a man, and a horse! Yes! And another man with a mullet, showing he doesn’t know how to ride a horse. And… a girl wearing nothing but body paint, standing at the top of a staircase! Because, gentlemen: nobody would otherwise pay money for something a woman has written!
(the senior partners, followed by everyone else in the room, erupt in a perfect storm of applause. The junior copyrighter wipes a tear from his eye)
Published 2003

(Average: 7.37 out of 10)

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Scott B Comments: The Day It Rained Forever… there were warning-sign-red clown faces staring regretfully at me?
Published 1974

(Average: 7.37 out of 10)

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It’s that time of the year again where people might just get a longer weekend! And that usually means an honourable mentions but unfortunately I have been pretty ill this week and have been sitting with some soup while watching TV and reading a few books!

Anyway, instead I give you a MisterBOB mega post! He’s sent in enough covers to start a book shop so here’s a few to keep your weekend going! Enjoy your holiday weekend!

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MisterBob Comments: A spaceman looks out his window and sees the face of GOD!
Published 1986

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MisterBOB comments: Please, do not show that teenagers can time travel by putting a plastic bag on their head.
Published 1989

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MisterBOB Comments: A particolored unicorn, so start with where the horn is, as the rest is just a horse…
Published 1987

(Average: 7.37 out of 10)

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Tom Noir’s Art Direction: Now look Horne, you’re a good artist, but you’ve got a thing or two to learn. See, this cover of yours, it’s just not realistic. Does this guy look like he just walked out of an explosion? No. He still has body hair. The fire would have burned it all off! Take this back and I don’t want to see it again until it looks like he’s fresh from a wax job.
Published 1994

(Average: 7.36 out of 10)

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Ian Comments: No one will notice the nude lady disguised as hills and valleys. Bound to get more sales that way.
Published 1976

(Average: 7.36 out of 10)

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Tom Noir Comments: I’ll save you some time looking this up: the title is an anagram for RACIER THIGHS BATTLE FEZ FOE.

Published 1983

(Average: 7.36 out of 10)

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MisterBOB’s Art Direction: Make the armour shiny… it’s a David Drake book!
Published 1991

(Average: 7.36 out of 10)

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