Good Show Sir

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Well I am thinking, man in miniskirt stands in the background with a very large sword. Then we’ll have a man standing in the foreground thrusting his sword from his pelvis as he furiously… well. Lets just say he looks furious, the destroyed viewers’ minds will do the rest.

(Average: 8.57 out of 10)

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Chess? I’m sure that’s interesting and all but that gives me nothing to work with. No wait.. it does. Pink! Pink everything up, go for the windowed look, and make sure there are lots of things blurred slightly by the light. Maybe they’ll miss out on the chess part completely!

(Average: 5.30 out of 10)

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HOLY father of APOLLO! I have it, again! Cat people! Oh alright, we won’t have it just as bad as last time but we should have at least three of them. And some guy with a beard, and an alien city, and purple fonts that burn into your mind.

(Average: 7.40 out of 10)

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You know what all guns should have? Large magazine, maybe. Insanely large silencer on the end, possibly. A leather clad busty blonde, you’re almost there. Nope? All guns should have a guitar hero controller. When wouldn’t you want to stop fighting and starpower some AC/DC?!

(Average: 7.73 out of 10)

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Well, we’ve got the red on there, ’cause of fire being in the title. We’ve got the epic dragon and the merlin esk wizard with his magic orb. But we’re missing something. Something that’s going to make someone pick up the book and think, ‘this is the one.’ Of course!! Surround the title in an awesome gold shiny goodness!

(Average: 4.27 out of 10)

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Tom Noir Comments: Alternate title – “I Got 3rd Degree Burns At 2nd Base”
Published 1971

(Average: 8.58 out of 10)

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Tom Hering Comments: In a land where sculptures flaunt and crumble, one statue comes to life: cat girl! Little does she know, however, that life means nothing but the sight of a bug, and the sight of a bug brings sadness and withdrawal. Oh pathos! Oh cat girl!
Published 1976

(Average: 7.26 out of 10)

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Frank Comments: My reaction was “It’s a trap!” In the interest of repeating the experiment, today I showed this book to another volunteer in our organization and asked her “Male or female?” She got different answers for different sides of the neck line too. I think she found this somewhat distressing.
Published 1971

(Average: 7.21 out of 10)

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Elijah’s Art Direction: Seriously, who are we kidding? Just throw some space-tits on there and call it a day.
Published 1984

(Average: 6.63 out of 10)

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Jen Comments: All I can say is, anyone who actually bought this for the cover is going to be VERY disappointed.
Published 2010

(Average: 4.16 out of 10)

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