Good Show Sir

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Let’s have a man in a male skirt, or, say, a leather armour of sorts, stretching into the sky. We’ll have his companion lancing out with his hand just towards his crotch… Wait! This is Sci Fi? Lucky you told me. Uh, have them fighting aliens but keep the rest the same.

(Average: 7.04 out of 10)

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There are few times in life when I boast of attaining perfection. The fonts, the scary woman who looks a little too desperate for a man, the man frozen as he runs away, the mist, the obligatory quote and lets not forget the glow. I can see it now. We are giving them something so beautiful that people will shed tears of joy.

(Average: 8.39 out of 10)

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In the future pilots won’t just be piloting boring old planes or space ships. No! They’ll be piloting space scooters! Retro space scooters!! Going from space station to station, wearing their retro spacesuits and carrying their cargo of little blue blobs with little tentacles. No? Well, just draw it and hopefully it will come true by 2010.

Thanks to Dave K!

(Average: 8.43 out of 10)

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What we shouldn’t have is something like ships exploding covering most of the front cover as some four armed goblins fire a cannon. And some blonde women holding her gun as she surveys the scene. Then the title and authors in huge fonts! THEN quotes from reviews just in case we think it’s not busy enough! That’s what we shouldn’t have guys. Right, guys? …Right?

(Average: 8.47 out of 10)

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Ok, how about this one. I’m just throwing it in there. Guy with sword, guy with gun, guy possibly naked with an american flag wrapped around him, and a guy in uniform.Now, to make sure no-one could think that this accompaniment could be anything but just good friends, make sure the sword guy has a platonic look as he ogles the blonde one.

(Average: 7.94 out of 10)

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Suitable for framing to hang in your man-cave.

Good Show Sir Art Direction: You know what type of reader suffers in the world of sci-fi/fantasy? Men! We need something for the men! So just put a redhead vampire chick with a huge rack right there on the front cover, holding her shotgun. It’s about time that we have something men can enjoy unlike those, dragons, swords, guns, lasers…….space ships…..oh…

(Average: 8.27 out of 10)

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Two fine gentlemen sir! Both of them wearing only the finest apparel that royalty can buy. On top of the highest castle tower pointing into the distance in ponderous thought. Leaving the viewer with a single thought, ‘Health and safety ain’t great in this castle.’

(Average: 3.93 out of 10)

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WELLL! How about Lois sitting on a rocking chair right next to a lovely log fire with a couple of cats curled up nicely beside her. To amplify the warmness we’ll have three people in space-age uniforms standing right best her, one of them holding a laser rifle. And for the finishing touch, put a mustache and bandana in there too.

(Average: 8.25 out of 10)

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I need sci-fi mixed in with something suggestive! Yeah baby!! I am talking about tight space suits that make you wonder how they ever got into them. Huge racks and huge packs, if you know what I mean! Guns shaped suggestively like a… you know… *giggles* Whatever you do don’t mess it up with something like giving the women a perm. Are you listening to me?

(Average: 8.27 out of 10)

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So I climbed over the mountain peak and made my way through the snow storm. I was close to death and feared I may never see another living soul again. Then I stumbled on the temple, and the great master. There he leaned forward from his mediation. Placing a single flower petal in my hand he whispered, ‘shoulder pads’. It changed my life.

(Average: 7.79 out of 10)

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