Mar 03
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Look, we need to appeal to both genders here. So we’ll have a male body fused with a female body from head to toe, in a kinda strange almost rubbery way. Obviously we’ll only show some cleavage because the last thing we’d want on there is a huge Johnson.
Thanks to Nix!

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Tagged with: BEHIND YOU! • cleavage • damsel • devil's dumplings • dude • exposed brain • font problems • Futura Publications • Meyer Dolinsky • Michael Adams • Mike Adams • Mike Dolinsky • starkers • statuesque • Unknown Artist Institute
Feb 11
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What in the name of Poseidon is this? A naked woman?! Look, we can’t have it go out like that, at least cover her up with something adequate, like a skimpy piece of cloth and some small shells covering a small portion of her cleavage. And have her standing on a chained man, pointing her sword at him. That way, it’s acceptable.

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • cleavage • damsel • dude • John Russell Fearn • loincloth • muscles • sword • Trojan Books • Unknown Artist Institute
Feb 08
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Listen to me carefully, I said give me a big bosomed women standing in front of some governmental type building casting a beefy fireball. With extra lens flare! Then place every sentence and word in a different type font. Oh wait… that’s what you’ve done.

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Tagged with: Ace Books • Berkley Books • Chris Cocozza • cleavage • damsel • lens flare • magic • magical orbs • Mark Del Franco
Jan 28
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Ok! What would gods normally do, while inhabiting the body of a busty half naked women? Hmmm, how about standing by a sweet tower glowing oddly, on all fours in front of some sort of cat creature and swinging a sword about to decapitate a snake. Gods are all about the sexual innuendo! Yeaaaaahhhhaaa!
Thanks to David D!

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Tagged with: +1 Protection from Spelling • bird • cleavage • damsel • glow • J.R. Mitchell • lizards • magic • Unknown Artist Institute • unknown publisher • WTF
Jan 22
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Doctor: It’s alright Madame, your Son simply has a case of the TeenFlu.
Concerned Mother: Thank you doctor, is there anything I can do for him?
Doctor: Well, I prescribe some awesome red and yellow training warrior monks, a large dude in a kimono and a busty women in a gold bikini grasping her short sword. Here, take this book.
Concerned Mother: Uh… you’re a medical doctor right?
Doctor: My doctorate came in a toblerone box.
Concerned Mother: Ohhhhhhh K, well I’ll be going.

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Tagged with: bikini • bladed weapons • chainmail lingerie • cleavage • damsel • Good Show Sir • Julian Gibson • Martin Millar • Martin Scott • monks • shrubbery • sword • Thraxas series
Jan 20
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You know what all guns should have? Large magazine, maybe. Insanely large silencer on the end, possibly. A leather clad busty blonde, you’re almost there. Nope? All guns should have a guitar hero controller. When wouldn’t you want to stop fighting and starpower some AC/DC?!

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Tagged with: Baen Books • bracers • cleavage • Clyde Caldwell • damsel • embossing • gun • John Ringo • Julie Cochrane • leather • shiny • shiny oh so shiny • sunglasses • utility belt
Jan 15
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There’s only one thing in this world that can make a muscle infused man in a loincloth and his scantily clad female faint almost instantly. A naked red headed minotaur who is sneezing at them. Just remember, the sure fire way to success, keep the clothes to a minimum!

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • busy hands • cleavage • damsel • dude • inadequate armor • loincloth • Mayflower Books • minotaur • muscles • Thomas Burnett Swann • Unknown Artist Institute
Jan 07
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Most covers only hint at cleavage. Where we will succeed will be in the tactic of placing an actual topless women on the cover! Riding horse back along an alien desert. Oh, and she is being lead by a sort of Apache Indian bloke with an extremely long sword. And yes, I mean a literal sword.
Thanks to Craig!

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • blood • Bob Fowke • cleavage • cloaks • damsel • dude • horses • loincloth • Magnum Books • Philip José Farmer • sword • Tarzan Series • whip it good
Dec 08
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You know what I love when admiring the female form. If only they’d put on a robe, a death mask and pick up a scythe. Man, if we draw a women like that. Why are you looking at me like that guys? Don’t tell me you’ve never thought of it before. No? Really? Oh.
Thanks to CSA!

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • cleavage • death • Panther Books • Piers Anthony • scythe • Tarot Trilogy series • Unknown Artist Institute
Dec 04
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World gets destroyed by large alien disco balls firing lasers. Lasers that create nuclear explosions. Then we’ll have some women in a tight shirt, unbuttoned just enough to tease our readers. And like every other cover out there, she’ll be completely ignoring the fact that there is a mammoth nuclear explosion going off in the background. Women, eh?

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Tagged with: Baen Books • BEHIND YOU! • booties • bracers • casually walking away from an explosion • cleavage • damsel • explosion • frickin laser beams • gun • handguns • Hymn Before Battle series • John Ringo • metropolitan apocalypse • mushroom cloud • once you see it • Patrick Turner • rifle • scope • space ships
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