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Nov 15

No! I am the Lizard King!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments:

There once was a hero named Blade
Who travelled through space to get laid
Wrapped his arse in a muff
Cause he thought it looked buff
Now the ladies are running away ‘fraid

Published 1972

Read all about this exciting adventure on the back cover.

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.87 out of 10)
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Dec 16

Let's play Whack-a-Mole!Click for larger image

Ryan Comments: Ronald MacDonald was very pleased with himself: having divested himself of his clown outfit, he could still eat anything and show no ill-effects.

Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.87 out of 10)
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Oct 20

Now this here model is what we call The Widowmaker! Next I'll show you the The Lumberjack and then The Punisher.Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: And that bit right there is his, um, Little Widowmaker.
Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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May 22

Being a werewolf is so stressful... do you know how many clothes I go through?Click for full image

Rachel and Thomas comment: In the book, the cover girl struggles with anxiety, depression, an estranged family, substance abuse, an eating disorder, self-harming, fits of violence, illiteracy, poor self-esteem, and the titular lycanthropy. It is just plain cruel to make her poorly drawn as well.
Published 2014

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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May 01

The Sheep Give UpClick for full image

Tat Wood Comments: I just popped back to France and found some more ripe examples of 70s French cover-art. This has all the worst features of inept collage but was painstakingly painted by a professional artist.

Published 1978

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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Dec 11

A writer to watch. Not a writer to read.Click for larger image

Kang N. Kodos Comments: I’m getting a negative vibe off this cover.

Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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Sep 05

♪♫♬ ... Valhalla, I am coming ... ♪♫♬Click for larger image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: PUSH HIM! PUSH HIM!

tl;drClick for larger image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: The back side, featuring the least appealing excerpt ever proffered on this Web site.

Published 1973

You might remember this from here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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Jan 19

It's a Penguin cover. Just slap anything together.

Charles comments: The photographer probably told the models this would end up in the next issue of Vogue.

Published 1970

You might remember this from here. And here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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Jan 19

Is that an alien turducken?Click for larger image

Ryan Comments: Is the first of the stories about restraining a gigantic alien and performing multiple amputations, in space?

Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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Nov 03

No wonder he can't get a decent tanClick for larger image

Ryan Art Direction: “Yeah, it’s another Van Vogt. Let’s see, paint up a haggard floozy, Evil Blue Buddha, and the guy from the cover of the first Enigma album. Also make sure none of the furniture has any visible means of support.”

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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