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Aug 11

Thank god I shaved my arm pit hair today! How stupid would I have looked?!Click for full image

Jami Comments: I’m not witty, so here’s some man titty.
Published 1979

Click here for back cover

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.45 out of 10)
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Sep 11

One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn sexy sexy vampires.Click for full image

Jaouad’s Art Direction: Vampires? Look, I don’t care what it’s about, just give me a lingerie model, I want boobs. Oh, and a sword.
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.44 out of 10)
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Nov 18

Nice robot buttocks! Click for full image

Sophy Comments: nice to think that in the distant future, dial telephones will make a comeback.
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.44 out of 10)
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Mar 10

Well you know what sucks... my lack of depth perception.Click for full image

Holy crap. We need something to distract from that bright silver font we’re using. So, how about a guy with an eye patch posing with weapons and a women doing the very same thing. Put a moon in the background, and by background I mean most of the cover.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.43 out of 10)
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Feb 11

YouClick for full image

What in the name of Poseidon is this? A naked woman?! Look, we can’t have it go out like that, at least cover her up with something adequate, like a skimpy piece of cloth and some small shells covering a small portion of her cleavage. And have her standing on a chained man, pointing her sword at him. That way, it’s acceptable.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.43 out of 10)
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Jun 25

Word SaladClick for larger image

Jimenez Comments What rating do you give to a Five Star Paperback around here?

Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.43 out of 10)
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Feb 25

atWomen love a kiss on the cheek from an airship.Click for full image

Art Direction: Look Moorcock’s covers are always strange. It’s like previous publishers took a handful of amphetamines before putting them to market. All we need is a big 80’s girls head floating in lots of clouds and some people on horses riding into war. No one will suspect any type of solvent abuse… well… until they read the thing!
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.42 out of 10)
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Jul 03

I'm thinking John Wilkes Booth is behind this one too.Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Gonna have to rewrite this Gettysburg Address to cover The War of the Robot Rebellion.

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.42 out of 10)
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Oct 19

I'm a respectable witch. I just can't date a guy with a blonde pony tail!Click for full image

Elijah Comments: What’s amazing isn’t just how ugly it is (and it is very ugly), or even the fact that it’s a book by a great author (because this happens to great authors, and Bradley definitely did go downhill eventually). No, what makes this ridiculous is that it’s by a great author AND it’s a Tor book. I mean, Tor has ugly covers sometimes, but this looks self-published…
Published 1997

Many thanks to Elijah!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.41 out of 10)
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Jul 07

His trouser snake finally got the better of him.Click for full image

Dave Comments: Let’s see. We have a guy in a tree, with a sword, getting ready to lop of the head of a snake, with its head super-imposed against The Moon. Paging Dr. Freud!
Published 1983

Hey, I’ve seen that scene in the jungle book!!
Many thanks to Dave!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.41 out of 10)
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