Nov 23
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OH OH OH! Let’s have a half naked man grasping his magic electrified sword around waist height. That sounds suggestive? Of course it is, he’s holding a sword right next to his baby maker. A ha ha ha. Don’t forget to overload the whole cover with text, a lot of text, in all shapes and sizes.
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Tagged with: Alyssa Day • Berkley Books • bladed weapons • dude • electricity • font problems • magic • muscles • sixpack abs • sword • Unknown Artist Institute • Warriors of Poseidon series
Nov 18
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Hmm, putting on our thinking caps here. ‘Servant of the Dragon’ …. Servant …. Dragon… DRAGON.. of course! Lets have a huge scary, bird! It makes complete sense. We’ll have wizards, swords men and damsels fighting it. One word to descibe my idea, epic!
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Tagged with: archery weapons • bird • bladed weapons • daggers • damsel • David Drake • Donato Giancola • electricity • font problems • giant birds • longbow • Lord of the Isles series • magic • strange creature • sword • Tor Books • Wizaaaaaaaard!
Oct 23
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There are few times in life when I boast of attaining perfection. The fonts, the scary woman who looks a little too desperate for a man, the man frozen as he runs away, the mist, the obligatory quote and lets not forget the glow. I can see it now. We are giving them something so beautiful that people will shed tears of joy.
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Tagged with: Baen Books • BEHIND YOU! • Chris Csejthe series • dude • floating person • font problems • glow • Good Show Sir • mist • once you see it • Patrick Turner • vampires • waistcoat • Wm. Mark Simmons
Oct 21
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Here you go boss, we’ve spent all weekend on this. It’s called “sea”, right? Well, what do we love under the sea? Mermaids of course! With long hair and large… fins. And what else could we grab people’s attention with? An underwater dragon!!! Booo yeah!!! Just tell me how that doesn’t make perfect sense!?! No boss, you don’t actually have to answer that…
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Tagged with: Baen Books • cleavage • Clyde Caldwell • damsel • dragon • Duke Edmund Talbolt series • font problems • John Ringo • mermaid • modesty-preserving hair • shuriken of approval
Oct 16
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Hello there sir, could I stop you for a quick survey today? Excellent. Imagine that we gave you a cover that included terrible fonts, a man with a very chiseled chin in some sort of armour, holding his short bow. Then pump tons of strange glows and lens flare on places you’d not expect. On scale of one to ten, how likely are you going to take this on a bus with you? Sir? Come back! Sir?
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Tagged with: archery weapons • bracers • Corgi Books • David Gemmell • dude • font problems • glow • Hey Arnohld • John Howe • long haired men • magical orbs • shortbow
Oct 05
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Well, we’ve got the red on there, ’cause of fire being in the title. We’ve got the epic dragon and the merlin esk wizard with his magic orb. But we’re missing something. Something that’s going to make someone pick up the book and think, ‘this is the one.’ Of course!! Surround the title in an awesome gold shiny goodness!
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Tagged with: dragon • Dragon Prince series • fire • font problems • magic • magical orbs • Melanie Rawn • Michael Whelan • Tor Books
Oct 01
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Draw a few dinosaurs and some people jet-packing around the planet. That way we have both words of the title covered. Though, concentrate on the title, huge black box, every word highlighted with something awesome. You don’t know what that means? For God’s sake man, like, put the word ‘Anne’ in an orange diamond shape. That’s the type of awesome I’m talking about!
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Tagged with: Anne McCaffrey • dinosaur • font problems • Mystery of Ireta series • rocket-pack • Unknown Artist Institute • unknown publisher
Sep 24
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A kids’ book? Well you know what kids love: FONTS, terrible fonts – gold outline! Give me: people animals… that’s right, I want a man weasel, man mouse, man rabbit and man mole all on there. Uh, best not make it too cutesy though, give the weasel a bow and arrow.
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Tagged with: anthropomorphism • archery weapons • bladed weapons • Brian Jacques • Chris "Fangorn" Baker • font problems • longbow • mouse people • rabbit people • Red Fox Books • Redwall series • rodents • shiny • ships • stoat people • strange creature • sword
Sep 01
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So, for the cover I was thinking “fear”. What are the two things you are most afraid of attacking this building right now? A small space ship firing a pretty standard laser, that’s scary, right? But what, get this, if it came with a friend? A giant legionary‘s sword! If that cut into your building you’d defecate yourself right there and then!
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Tagged with: author in the comments • Baen Books • bladed weapons • font problems • frickin laser beams • Gary Ruddell • Oscar L. Fellows • planets • space ships • sword
Aug 28
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So with a title like this, one has to be careful. I was thinking of a sweeping landscape and a storm brewing on the horizon. Silhouetted over the coming clouds and setting sun would be some hands in chains and…… Sorry? You just want busty sword welding chicks and a chained male. Ha! Who would approve that?
(Slightly breaks our rules as this is probably comedy – but it is another bank holiday weekend for UK readers! Have fun!)
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Tagged with: Baen Books • bladed weapons • bracers • Chicks In Chainmail series • cleavage • cloaks • damsel • Esther Friesner • font problems • inadequate armor • jeans and a t-shirt • Larry Elmore • loincloth • omnibus • once you see it • shields • sword
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