Jan 19
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Eyelashes! We’ll have a dragon with eyelashes, peering over at some wizard reading his dragon magical book. It won’t just be any mage, he’ll have a magical staff! Unheard of I know. And a side parting to make the king of side partings proud. As for the title, make it silver. We have to stand out somehow.
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Tagged with: author in the comments • BEHIND YOU! • books on the covers of books • castle • dragon • evil book • font problems • Haircut 100 • magic weapon • Michael C. Staudinger • once you see it • pole weapons • shiny • staff • TSR Books
Jan 11
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Nothing says, ‘I’m one hundred percent pure man,’ than a glowing sword, blonde curtains and a cape with some red velvet lining. We’ll have him charging towards the reader on his horse, waving his sword and smiling manically. Make sure the fonts have at least three layers of bordering!
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Tagged with: Baen Books • castle • cloaks • damsel • Elizabeth Moon • font problems • glow • horses • magic • sword
Dec 11
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Guy sits uncomfortably on the tail of a space shuttle. Don’t forget huge shiny text. And we’ll have to quote another one of her books, something that will really appeal to those hardcore Sci-Fi readers. Oh oh! I know. Dragons of Pern. Ace!
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Tagged with: Anne McCaffrey • Ballantine Books • dude • font problems • Michael Whelan • shiny oh so shiny • space • space ships
Dec 02
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There is nothing in this world that makes anything look better than shiny gold highlights around text and generally shiny boxes around huge fonts. What will you draw? Oh uh, three guys on a mountain edge, don’t forget the magic! Fantasy isn’t fantasy without a magic fireball or two.
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Tagged with: bladed weapons • bracers • Chronicles of the Raven series • cloaks • daggers • damsel • dinosaur • dude • font problems • Fred Gambino • James Barclay • magic • male skirts • Orion Books • sword • Wizaaaaaaaard!
Nov 23
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OH OH OH! Let’s have a half naked man grasping his magic electrified sword around waist height. That sounds suggestive? Of course it is, he’s holding a sword right next to his baby maker. A ha ha ha. Don’t forget to overload the whole cover with text, a lot of text, in all shapes and sizes.
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Tagged with: Alyssa Day • Berkley Books • bladed weapons • dude • electricity • font problems • magic • muscles • sixpack abs • sword • Unknown Artist Institute • Warriors of Poseidon series
Nov 18
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Hmm, putting on our thinking caps here. ‘Servant of the Dragon’ …. Servant …. Dragon… DRAGON.. of course! Lets have a huge scary, bird! It makes complete sense. We’ll have wizards, swords men and damsels fighting it. One word to descibe my idea, epic!
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Tagged with: archery weapons • bird • bladed weapons • daggers • damsel • David Drake • Donato Giancola • electricity • font problems • giant birds • longbow • Lord of the Isles series • magic • strange creature • sword • Tor Books • Wizaaaaaaaard!
Oct 23
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There are few times in life when I boast of attaining perfection. The fonts, the scary woman who looks a little too desperate for a man, the man frozen as he runs away, the mist, the obligatory quote and lets not forget the glow. I can see it now. We are giving them something so beautiful that people will shed tears of joy.
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Tagged with: Baen Books • BEHIND YOU! • Chris Csejthe series • dude • floating person • font problems • glow • Good Show Sir • mist • once you see it • Patrick Turner • vampires • waistcoat • Wm. Mark Simmons
Oct 21
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Here you go boss, we’ve spent all weekend on this. It’s called “sea”, right? Well, what do we love under the sea? Mermaids of course! With long hair and large… fins. And what else could we grab people’s attention with? An underwater dragon!!! Booo yeah!!! Just tell me how that doesn’t make perfect sense!?! No boss, you don’t actually have to answer that…
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Tagged with: Baen Books • cleavage • Clyde Caldwell • damsel • dragon • Duke Edmund Talbolt series • font problems • John Ringo • mermaid • modesty-preserving hair • shuriken of approval
Oct 16
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Hello there sir, could I stop you for a quick survey today? Excellent. Imagine that we gave you a cover that included terrible fonts, a man with a very chiseled chin in some sort of armour, holding his short bow. Then pump tons of strange glows and lens flare on places you’d not expect. On scale of one to ten, how likely are you going to take this on a bus with you? Sir? Come back! Sir?
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Tagged with: archery weapons • bracers • Corgi Books • David Gemmell • dude • font problems • glow • Hey Arnohld • John Howe • long haired men • magical orbs • shortbow
Oct 05
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Well, we’ve got the red on there, ’cause of fire being in the title. We’ve got the epic dragon and the merlin esk wizard with his magic orb. But we’re missing something. Something that’s going to make someone pick up the book and think, ‘this is the one.’ Of course!! Surround the title in an awesome gold shiny goodness!
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Tagged with: dragon • Dragon Prince series • fire • font problems • magic • magical orbs • Melanie Rawn • Michael Whelan • Tor Books
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