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Aug 09

Five Odd Honors

24 Comments »

Helper Monkey's are always evil...Click for full image

DPN Comments: It’s a game – Find the five odd honours depicted on this book cover.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.54 out of 10)
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Jul 12

Skyfall

30 Comments »

We may look cheesy... but at least we don't have a theme song by Adele...Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth’s Art Direction: Gentlemen…perhaps what this cover needs is both a man, and a horse! Yes! And another man with a mullet, showing he doesn’t know how to ride a horse. And… a girl wearing nothing but body paint, standing at the top of a staircase! Because, gentlemen: nobody would otherwise pay money for something a woman has written!
(the senior partners, followed by everyone else in the room, erupt in a perfect storm of applause. The junior copyrighter wipes a tear from his eye)
Published 2003

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.52 out of 10)
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Jul 08

Conan the Gladiator

28 Comments »

John! Stop looking at his muscular thighs and help us!!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: What have you done to me, you monsters? I can’t lower my arms! I CAN’T LOWER MY ARMS!!
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.39 out of 10)
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May 28

Bouncing Off the Moon

37 Comments »

I am NOT asking for directions... It's right over the next crater... I think...Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Look out! No brakes!
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.13 out of 10)
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May 01

The Second Kingdom

41 Comments »

Seriously? Don't look Merman... you'll just encourage her!Click for full image

DPN Comments: I couldn’t resist buying this one. I hope this cover is an accurate depiction of a scene in the book, because I really want to know what’s going here.
Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)
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Mar 01

Prostho Plus

14 Comments »

Hey aren't you Dr Robert Asten from Quincy M.E.? Click for full image

Lauren Comments: Thought you might like to compare another version of this timeless tale of a dentist bravely going where no man has gone before. Namely, into an alien mouth full of yuk caused by a lack of dental hygiene.
Published 1985

Previous ‘Prostho Plus’ Cover Here
And… Sorry it took two years to post this!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.93 out of 10)
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Dec 04

Knot Gneiss

22 Comments »

You know... you guys could help instead of barely pulling, riding your purple unicorn or even.. STANDING... on it!!Click for full image

GK Comments: Room for another unicorn somewhere?
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.48 out of 10)
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Dec 03

The Wayfarer Redemption

13 Comments »

Look we all know how this works... we get the armour... you get the wrist guards and push up bra... it will protect you... honest!Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth Comments: Upset that only the City Watch showed up to her Confirmation, Melody pisses the Pleiades.
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 3.67 out of 10)
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Sep 18

The Door into Fire

25 Comments »

The Flaming Horse 2000! Offers that incentive for speed and with a great smell of bbq!Click for full image

Frank Comments: This is actually not so terrible a cover. But given that you’ve got two other covers up for this title, I thought you might enjoy this one.
Published 1985

You might remember The Door into Fire from here and here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.13 out of 10)
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Mar 27

The Deceivers

19 Comments »

Every knows all the planet sized girls who live in Jupiter love a man in a decorative space suit!Click for full image

Jaouad Comments: More proof of the ongoing Maori conquest of the universe.
Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.50 out of 10)
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