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Jan 08

Before:

WTF with the perv-telescope?Click for larger image

After:

Wait until I get my hands on the guy who disabled the toilet smoke alarm!Click for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday: Andre Norton Before & After

Good Show Sir Comments:

Before: “This mission is so popular the men are dying to get in!”

After: “Damn! I thought filling the cabins with hydrogen would reduce our take-off weight!”

Published 1954

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.71 out of 10)
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Jan 07

Happy New Year 2019! We will remember 2018 for all the cameo appearances of actual professional artists, authors and editors in the comments! Surprisingly, they are not happy! Why would they mistake our lovely site for some sort of Museum of Bad Art? Just because our tagline is “Only the worst Sci-fi/Fantasy book covers”? First thing to do in the near year is to change that to “Only the wurst Sci-fi/Fantasy book covers” so they don’t misunderstand our intent. Not all though. Some get it.

We here at Good Show Sir Headquarters are looking forward to the new year and our gala 10th Anniversary bash scheduled at an undisclosed location sometime in March. Our special friends will have their invitations hand-delivered by a uniformed government agent sometime in the very near future.

As always, GSS After Dark Platinum Club Members can get their party invitations here.

On to the honours. Be aware that this post was prerecorded and if the order of the top three keep shifting, well, fuck it. I’ll just have to go in and delete some ratings.

First, the top rated cover of last year:

Tom Mix Seal of Approval!Click for larger image

Down in the Black Gang
Sexual innuendo. Always a crowd pleaser.

Our silver medal winner is the Jack Chalker Honourable Mention clusterfuck:

Is that you Fairy-Peg?Click for larger image

Honourable Mentions 19

As Bruce A Munro aptly put it: Well, if anyone was uncertain that Jack Chalker was dead, this should serve as convincing evidence.

And the bronze medal winning:

'Why am I chained to this pig?' - The PigClick for larger image

Carnacki the Ghost-Finder
pot-bellied dude and pot-bellied pig

My personal favourite cover of 2018:

Snakes on a DameClick to remove devil sheep

The Image of the Beast/Blown
Cover Blown. Mind Blown.

And Tag Wizard’s chosen favourite from the year:

Ow! Stop yanking on my eye, lady!Click for larger image

Chaos Mode
Es car go go

Peace out
— GSS Admin

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
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Dec 21

Let’s sit back and enjoy some Xmas vinyl. And then toss them on the old yule log. We’ll have our Festivus “Airing of Grievances” after we return from the break. I got a lotta problems with you people, and you’re going to hear about it! Have a happy holiday and we’ll see you in a couple weeks with our Old Year Sum Up!

Get that red suit on, Obi-WanClick for larger image

Your voice is dead, JimClick for larger image

The Curly Joe album was even worse than the Shemp Xmas albumClick for larger image

... and then have a go at the pancreasClick for larger image

Deck the bowls with extra crispyClick for larger image

On his birthday, Jesus has a four-wayClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments:

1. Glad I traded the elves to the Jawas for some droids.

2. Deck … the halls … withBoughsofHolly?!!

3. Why I oughta … wish you a Merry Xmas. nyuk nyuk

… and a few Honourable Mentions:

4. Let’s start with the liver.

5. So that’s the original recipe turkey bucket. Eight pieces. 15 kilos. Pull up to the next window.

6. Three Maids a Layin’ … no Golden Rings!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.13 out of 10)
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Dec 20

Eat me!Click for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: The secret ingredient to Grandma’s gingerbread cookies will leave you feeling a little scorched.

Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
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Dec 19

... starring Rakehell Welch!Click for larger image

Mrs Jones Comments: Princess Leia … After Dark!

Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)
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Dec 18

Squids and Nudes: Take 7Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Haven’t we seen this couple before?

Published 1952

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.71 out of 10)
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Dec 17

'...sucking ... told in ... prose ...' -- Publishes WeaklyClick for larger image

The Bookkeeper Comments: Orlando Bloom stars as Legolas Lestat in a new vampire/elf mash-up.

Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)
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Dec 13

Gateway to ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ wherever Click for larger image

Bellatrix Comments: Hey Tag Wizard! Do you have a tag for a belly-dancing tornado?

I have “dancing up a storm”!  – T.W.

Published 1954

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.86 out of 10)
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Dec 12

Danger, Adventure and Forbidden Thrills! Major in Archaeology!Click for larger image

Marvin Comments: Caution! Do not stare at idol with remaining eye!

Published 1961

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.17 out of 10)
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Dec 11

Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man-KzinClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Breaking News from Baen Books! Our esteemed colleagues at Baen have released an Advanced e-Reader’s Copy of the latest installment in the wildly popular Man-Kzin Wars series and we’d like to be one of the first to give them all the free publicity they can stand.

Lately we have been made to realize that some of us at Good Show Sir have been a bit harsh on the Baen enterprise (looking at you, ex-Noob 😄 ). Some Baen honchos believe we go too far in featuring so many splendid and, I must admit, VERY COMPETENT WORKS OF ART done by their artist minions on a weblog with the temerity to feature the byline “Only the worst Sci-fi/Fantasy book covers”. C’mon guys, you know that by “terrible” we mean “awesome”. Get on fleek with how the kids are slangin’ these days.

We give a tip-of-the-bowler-hat to today’s featured cover artist Steve Hickman. What can we say but IT IS GOOD ART. Not some Unknown Artist Institute™ knock-off. In fact, one might expect to see this hanging in some tony Soho art gallery, except that, you know, it’s a cat-person portrait and all that. But the talent is there for all to see. He looks so real you can almost smell him!

So anyway people, check out Man-Kzin Wars XV! That’s number XV! If they are numbering them like Super Bowls you know they got to be good. Buy more Baen Books! Our future here at GSS depends on far-sighted publishers like Baen keepin’ the faith.

–GSS Admin

[P.S. to our friends at Baen. Don’t feel that sending us free swag like new books and single-malt whiskey is a violation of our Code of Ethics!]

#BeBest

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)
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