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Feb 21

They played Dark Forces © LucasArtsClick for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: Even with a crystal ball they did nazi that coming.

Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.00 out of 10)
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Feb 19

Bibliomancer went to Greece and GSS didn’t even get a lousy tau-shirt. But we did get a bunch of terrible Greek book covers. I’ll turn this post (and week) over to him:

I come from Greece bearing gifts! So don’t look a Trojan Horse in the mouth. Athens has a big chain store called “Public” which is a combination of  Barnes & Noble and  Best Buy with a whole large floor of new books in Greek and English. Athens also have a few “charming” used book stores in some of the older neighborhoods. Here’s the inside view of one of them:

View of the headless Greek bookseller

So here are some terrible covers, Greek-style. Sorry, but we will have to skip the authors, cover artists and publication dates. Be kind to Tag Wizard:

Do surfers dream of aquatic sheep?Click for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments:

1. Rising sea levels were not kind to Venice.

 

Browsing Tinder on MarsClick for larger image

2. Who knew Ghandi collected Barbies?

 

Squawk!Click for larger image

3. Black Hawk up, Black Hawk down!

 

I assume Jeremy Cherfas is on the rightClick for larger image

4. Ce n’est pas un primate.

 

Is that you, Grandpa Munster?Click for larger image

5. Dracula in the language Prince Vlad would have understood.

 

Published whenever

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.60 out of 10)
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Feb 06

Snakes on a DameClick to remove devil sheep

Dexter Comments: The cover of Image of the Beast blown by artist John Coulthart.
Published 2001

You might remember this from here.

 

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.91 out of 10)
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Jan 16

Got a big triangle hole in my back

Click for larger image

How to pick up girls

Click for sheep removal

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – Planet of the Damned special!

Good Show Sir Comments:

1. Max Manspreading

2. Obviously passed-out ladies are central to the plot of this book.

Published 1980, 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.90 out of 10)
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Jan 15

No. I am the Lizard King!

Click for larger image

Tom Luczycki’s Art Direction: I need a guy astride a giant walking fish-thing accompanied by a metallic angel with nippless bazooms. Could you have the guy holding an impossibly small and ineffective bow? Forget about the arrows. The bow is more a symbol for the subtext of the underlying metaphor. And moths. The moths should round things out nicely.

Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.64 out of 10)
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Dec 07

Good evening, and welcome to a private showing of three paintings, displayed here for the first time. Each is a collectors’ item in its own way – not because of any special artistic quality, but because each captures on a canvas, and suspends in time and space, a frozen moment of …

OK, that’s just a Rod Serling Night Gallery quote I copped off of IMDB. But here, for your consideration, are three cover submissions that didn’t make the cut. Not because they aren’t terrible. Not because they are based on a franchise. Not because they are parody or comedy. Not because … well, just because …

 

Boob Tube?Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: That 70s Show.
Published 1975

 

I've been hitchhiking for an hour. Why can't I get a ride?Click for larger image

Alice Comments: “Let the Magic Journey begin! Oh crap. Wher’d my ass go?”.
Published 1988

 

 

Sheep!Click for larger image

Maureen Comments: Click all you want. No boobs under the sheep.
Published 1972

 

Oh, and Tag Wizard sent me this racism and dared me to post it. Now you owe me a pint:

Chinese GSS is going to have a shit fitClick for larger image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.06 out of 10)
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Dec 05

It's not me, it's the electrodes moving my hand. I swear!Click for sheep removal

Bibliomancer Comments: “Listen up Ruben, I got a great idea for your novel: Masters and Johnson … in space!”

Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Oct 30

GiddyupClick for larger image

Mavis Comments: Ride ’em, Batgirl!

Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.14 out of 10)
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Oct 17

'Tickle Fight!'Click for larger image

She's singing in the key of B sharpClick for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – A. Merritt Avon Special

Tag Wizard Comments:

I’m debating whether to add a naked-blonde-with-pointy-weapon tag.
Is there another candidate cover here?

Published 1951

Thanks to The Baron for sending these in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.71 out of 10)
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Oct 02

'How to Pick up Girls' by Dr. Bill CosbyClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: This must be that Edgar Rice Burroughs novel where the Terminator travels all the way to Barsoom to track down the sexy, half-naked Sarah Connor!

Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
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