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Dec 07

Good evening, and welcome to a private showing of three paintings, displayed here for the first time. Each is a collectors’ item in its own way – not because of any special artistic quality, but because each captures on a canvas, and suspends in time and space, a frozen moment of …

OK, that’s just a Rod Serling Night Gallery quote I copped off of IMDB. But here, for your consideration, are three cover submissions that didn’t make the cut. Not because they aren’t terrible. Not because they are based on a franchise. Not because they are parody or comedy. Not because … well, just because …

 

Boob Tube?Click for larger image

Raoul Comments: That 70s Show.
Published 1975

 

I've been hitchhiking for an hour. Why can't I get a ride?Click for larger image

Alice Comments: “Let the Magic Journey begin! Oh crap. Wher’d my ass go?”.
Published 1988

 

 

Sheep!Click for larger image

Maureen Comments: Click all you want. No boobs under the sheep.
Published 1972

 

Oh, and Tag Wizard sent me this racism and dared me to post it. Now you owe me a pint:

Chinese GSS is going to have a shit fitClick for larger image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.08 out of 10)
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Dec 05

It's not me, it's the electrodes moving my hand. I swear!Click for sheep removal

Bibliomancer Comments: “Listen up Ruben, I got a great idea for your novel: Masters and Johnson … in space!”

Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.00 out of 10)
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Oct 30

GiddyupClick for larger image

Mavis Comments: Ride ’em, Batgirl!

Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.14 out of 10)
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Oct 17

'Tickle Fight!'Click for larger image

She's singing in the key of B sharpClick for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – A. Merritt Avon Special

Tag Wizard Comments:

I’m debating whether to add a naked-blonde-with-pointy-weapon tag.
Is there another candidate cover here?

Published 1951

Thanks to The Baron for sending these in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.71 out of 10)
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Oct 02

'How to Pick up Girls' by Dr. Bill CosbyClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: This must be that Edgar Rice Burroughs novel where the Terminator travels all the way to Barsoom to track down the sexy, half-naked Sarah Connor!

Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.67 out of 10)
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Sep 27

Moorcock! More Boobs!Click to remove sheep or gun or whatever

Good Show Sir Comments: New candidate for censor sheep: the modesty assault rifle?

Thanks to Melody for sending this in!

Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.72 out of 10)
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Sep 25

Snakes on a DameClick for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: Cover art by world famous dog artist Chet Jezierski.

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.20 out of 10)
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Aug 31

Hey, that's the flying thing I keep seeing in my shrink's ink blots!Click for larger image

Alice Comments: There’s just something not right about that cover girl.

Published 1978

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.50 out of 10)
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Aug 22

Call me Sandy!Click for sheep removal

I know you're the Wolfman, but can you at least shave your pubes?Click for larger image

It’s a Two-Fer Tuesday Greenleaf Classics Movie-Now-Showing Extravaganza!

Good Show Sir Comments:

#1 Get your spacesuit on before you get cosmic-ray burn!

#2 Mike and Betty have second thoughts about that nice swinger couple they met on vacation.

Published 1966, 1969

Thanks to Roger for sending these in.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.75 out of 10)
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Jul 31

No time to photoshop space sheep, so those are now man boobsClick for larger image

Wendy’s Art Direction: It’s supposed to be about some Asteroid Belt colony. Tear out the first five pages of your sketchbook and paste them on this cover mock-up.

Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.20 out of 10)
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