Good Show Sir

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Nothing – and I mean nothing – attracts readers more than naked children. What.. why are you looking at me like that? Why are you leaving? Guys? Guys?

Thanks to Dave R – The ever-living!

(Average: 8.55 out of 10)

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And now for the real cover:

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You might remember seeing this previously on Good Show Sir: Sunrunner’s Fire

Stutzman comments: So here is the Australia cover for that very same book (found in a used bookstore in the US), which is hideous beyond words. Same general elements: dragon, wizardly dude in robes, rocks. The execution, however… oh, my eyes.

Thanks very much to Stutzman!

(Average: 6.69 out of 10)

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Art Direction: Hold on a second, I’m just finishing my morning bourbon. Alright lets see, could we get naked women with impressive cleavage? What about a man with a laser sword fighting off some cat people? No? Man you are picky. How about a t-rex travelling through time eating historical figures? In fact that’s brilliant… get Roberts to re-write this thing!

Art Director: Sweet lord. What is this… what have you given me?
Artist: Uh, a flying city and some storm clouds.
Art Director: Now come on, I have it on record Amory requested a naked man wrestling a man tiger, both wearing bondage gear.
Artist: Was… that in the book? Who the hell is Amory?
Art Director: Stop asking technical questions and draw or you don’t get your curly wurly!!

(Average: 3.74 out of 10)

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NoiselessPenguin Comments: I tried to make a list of what’s wrong with this cover, and stopped when I realised: EVERYTHING.

Thanks to NoiselessPenguin, I’ve never laughed so much!

(Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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Tamsym comments: Found in a charity shop on the Isle of Wight, I’ve been looking for a home for this baby for six months. It’s got all the hallmarks of a classic: nipples – check; vacuous expression – check; absolutely no relevance to the title – check.

I’m not saying ghosts can’t be gay, mind. But you have to wonder about the plot arc, eh?

Thanks so much to Tamsyn!

(Average: 8.37 out of 10)

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Rex’s Art Direction: Okay, gaudy covers are out, minimalism is in! So let’s see, what shall we put on this cover… a fish! Yes, a fish, that’s right, I’m sure they live in forests, right?

Thanks to Albertosaurus Rex!

(Average: 6.22 out of 10)

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Black in Time? Seriously? Alright then. Well I think we should artistically avoid the whole race issue and simply have a huge group of people from every background floating mid space stretching backwards into the earth. And some faces of the main characters, with an hour glass imposed on them. Somehow though, I think it’s not going to take away from the title.

Thanks to the Legend Dave R!

(Average: 8.63 out of 10)

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What if we go for something that’s kind of a cross between art and an eighties music video? We’ll have flaming eye balls and some women with retro make-up playing with her magical sticks. Then just pack any text at the top and if we can, make it like an ancient scroll banner. Classy.

(Average: 8.02 out of 10)

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So I just read from the list on this sheet? Alright then, terrible fonts, realistic guys doing manly stuff and pulling awkward faces, and a futuristic city. Might I add something of my own? Why don’t we credit only the editors and none of the authors? …You’re promoting me to management?! OHHH yeaaah!

(Average: 6.21 out of 10)

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Chess? I’m sure that’s interesting and all but that gives me nothing to work with. No wait.. it does. Pink! Pink everything up, go for the windowed look, and make sure there are lots of things blurred slightly by the light. Maybe they’ll miss out on the chess part completely!

(Average: 5.30 out of 10)

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