Feb 24
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Throw out this idea of a whole picture and think in terms of layers. Just concentrate on four of them, a women with a bad hair cut firing a laser, a tiny women in a floating tea cup, a huge bald guy about to attack and some people in an arena watching. Slap it all together and we’re sorted!

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Tagged with: Anne McCaffrey • damsel • Elizabeth Moon • frickin laser beams • Mark Harrison • Orbit Books • space • The Planet Pirates series • WTF
Feb 23
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Nothinggets the attention ofwomen more than standing in the midst of an ice cavern with little clothes and showing off your bare chest. Holding your short sword in an inspiring way while standing by your Viking boat sleigh. That’s right. A boat sleigh.

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • Boris Vallejo • cloaks • damsel • dude • Eric Iverson • Gerin the Fox series • Harry Turtledove • muscles • sword • Trojan Books
Feb 22
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Well any piece of art such as a women sitting on her horse, in the middle of the wood, summoning a huge glowing chalice, just isn’t complete with out a huge boarder. It’s like you’ll be staring in through a window into a magical world.

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Tagged with: Anne Bishop • damsel • font problems • forest • goblet • horses • magic • magical orbs • Matthew Innis • puffy shirt • Roc Books • The Black Jewels Trilogy
Feb 16
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Like a baseball bat to the face, we’ll hit our viewers with something special. A large forest women with rams horns and red curly hair. Perfect? Not quite. She’ll be wading her way through a swamp with another considerably smaller green tinted female watching. Now we’re perfect.

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Tagged with: Ballantine Books • damsel • forest • giant • horns • Keith Parkinson • Terry Brooks • The Magic of Landover series
Feb 11
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What in the name of Poseidon is this? A naked woman?! Look, we can’t have it go out like that, at least cover her up with something adequate, like a skimpy piece of cloth and some small shells covering a small portion of her cleavage. And have her standing on a chained man, pointing her sword at him. That way, it’s acceptable.

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Tagged with: bladed weapons • cleavage • damsel • dude • John Russell Fearn • loincloth • muscles • sword • Trojan Books • Unknown Artist Institute
Feb 08
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Listen to me carefully, I said give me a big bosomed women standing in front of some governmental type building casting a beefy fireball. With extra lens flare! Then place every sentence and word in a different type font. Oh wait… that’s what you’ve done.

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Tagged with: Ace Books • Berkley Books • Chris Cocozza • cleavage • damsel • lens flare • magic • magical orbs • Mark Del Franco
Feb 04
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I’ll tell you want you need. And skin it for free. Sorry, I mean what you need are bubble helmets and plenty of them. Nothing screams, ‘we’re in the future’ more than bubble helmets. With space suits of different unnecessarily bright colours. It’s the new retro. Or, the same as the previous retro… pretro?

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Tagged with: beard-wielding • bubble helmet • damsel • dude • ill-fitting spacesuit • Julie Bell • Michael Flynn • space • Tor Books
Jan 28
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Ok! What would gods normally do, while inhabiting the body of a busty half naked women? Hmmm, how about standing by a sweet tower glowing oddly, on all fours in front of some sort of cat creature and swinging a sword about to decapitate a snake. Gods are all about the sexual innuendo! Yeaaaaahhhhaaa!
Thanks to David D!

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Tagged with: +1 Protection from Spelling • bird • cleavage • damsel • glow • J.R. Mitchell • lizards • magic • Unknown Artist Institute • unknown publisher • WTF
Jan 22
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Doctor: It’s alright Madame, your Son simply has a case of the TeenFlu.
Concerned Mother: Thank you doctor, is there anything I can do for him?
Doctor: Well, I prescribe some awesome red and yellow training warrior monks, a large dude in a kimono and a busty women in a gold bikini grasping her short sword. Here, take this book.
Concerned Mother: Uh… you’re a medical doctor right?
Doctor: My doctorate came in a toblerone box.
Concerned Mother: Ohhhhhhh K, well I’ll be going.

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Tagged with: bikini • bladed weapons • chainmail lingerie • cleavage • damsel • Good Show Sir • Julian Gibson • Martin Millar • Martin Scott • monks • shrubbery • sword • Thraxas series
Jan 20
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You know what all guns should have? Large magazine, maybe. Insanely large silencer on the end, possibly. A leather clad busty blonde, you’re almost there. Nope? All guns should have a guitar hero controller. When wouldn’t you want to stop fighting and starpower some AC/DC?!

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Tagged with: Baen Books • bracers • cleavage • Clyde Caldwell • damsel • embossing • gun • John Ringo • Julie Cochrane • leather • shiny • shiny oh so shiny • sunglasses • utility belt
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